15 Signs You Need to Stop Reading the Sixth Book


Guaranteed to prove your obsession!

You know you need to stop reading Book Six when you…

  1. Are still wearing black in mourning.
  2. Ask your parents if the death of anyone you know is listed in the Obituary.
  3. …don’t explain yourself when they ask who died.
  4. Repeatedly report to the police that you know where Snape is hiding.
  5. Keep repeating under your breath “the locket… the cup… the snake… something of Gryffindor or Ravenclaw’s…”
  6. Practice nonverbal spells.
  7. Draw an extremely detailed Marauder’s Map and obsessively check it to see where Malfoy is.
  8. Try to Apparate and insist that you just need to get the hang of it.
  9. …mutter the “three D’s” under your breath while you practice.
  10. Comment to people that you enjoyed Dumbledore’s Army because it was like having friends.
  11. Randomly yell, “He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him!” during class.
  12. …refuse to explain what you mean/who you’re talking about.
  13. Fire arrows in tribute to Dumbledore.
  14. Proudly tell anyone who will listen that you are Dumbledore’s man/woman through and through.
  15. Write up/read lists like this one.

Submitted by: Janet Gilroy

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.