Come to Hogwarts

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to the tune of “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid

[Harry is looking uncertainly at Hagrid in the hut on the rock. The Dursleys look on in horror as Hagrid breaks out into song.]

HAGRID:
Harry, listen to me, the Muggle world is a mess.
Life at Hogwarts is better than anything they got out there.

The Dursleys, they seem more meaner when viewed from a different world.
They dream of a Muggle-full world, but that is a big mistake.
Just at the room around you, wet boards and a rotten floor.
Such wonderful things await you, come on with me through this door.

Life at Hogwarts! Life at Hogwarts!
Harry, it’s better, your Hogwarts letter will take you to see.
At Privet Drive you work all day.
Harry, let me take you away.
You’ll be devoting full time to flying at Hoggy-warts!

At Hogwarts, the kids are happy,
As wands through the air they wave.
The kids at St. Brutus’ are sad ‘cos they in a cell.
But Harry, yes you are lucky,
You in for a better fate.
The day when you start at Hogwarts,
You’ll see you will find a mate.

Life at Hogwarts! Life at Hogwarts!
Harry, it’s better, your Hogwarts letter will take you to see.
At Privet Drive you work all day.
Harry, let me take you away.
You’ll be devoting full time to flying at Hoggy-warts,
At Hoggy-warts.
Since life is magic you won’t be tragic with the Dursleys!

Harry, believe me when I say,
You will fit in right away.
You got a scar; you’ll be a star!
At Hoggy-warts.

Your wand with its core of phoenix feather.
In hat and your robes, oh Harry, you’ll go.
A broomstick you’ll learn to fly early on,
And then I’ll watch you go.

A Seeker you’ll be, like your father, Harry.
A Gryffindor hero, no doubt, you will be.
You’ll earn lots of points, how happy you’ll be.
And I will watch you grow!

[Instrumental during which Hagrid, using his umbrella, conjures images of what life will be like at Hogwarts while dancing around. The hut shakes dangerously.]

Oh yeah, Harry! You’ll feel so free!
When you get started, you’ll feel you’ve parted with nobody!
What do you got? Not a lot!
Right now, you have got squat!
But life at Hogwarts will be fantastic, I guarantee!
So tell me now Harry, will you be coming with me?

[Harry finally looks convinced and bursts into song enthusiastically.]

HARRY:
Of course I will, Hagrid!
Hogwarts sounds fab, yeah.
I’m coming to see it right now!
If you’ll let me, please Hagrid, I want to be
Madly in love with Hooooooogwaaaaaaarts!

[Harry follows Hagrid out of the hut, slamming the door behind him. The hut collapses on the stunned Dursleys.]

Submitted by: Imelda M.