483 ½ Wizolympics – Day 11 Update: Cliff Stunning Qualifying Round

Welcome to the qualifying round of Cliff Stunning. This event really is one of the highlights of the Wizolympics Winter Games. It’s everything that the games are supposed to be about wrapped into one. There’s danger, teamwork, and excitement to be had here. We have three teams vying for the two spots that are available in the final round. The countries competing in this event are Spain, Ireland, and Russia.

Now, a little refresher as to how this is all going to go down today: Literally, down. Each team member will get a chance to be stunned by our official stunner. The goal is, once stunned, to fall successfully into the freezing water below our cliff face. The water will instantly wake you up (since it is very frigid down there), but there are some obstacles in the way of reaching that water. There are several rocks jutting out of the cliff face on the way down, as well as some strategically placed pricker bushes, so it will really take great skill and aim to fall perfectly downward into the water.

Our official stunner for today is Malcolm Birtwhistle, author of the critically acclaimed book Effective Stunning: The Beauty of Stillness. Birtwhistle has taken a pledge to be fair and give every competitor an equal shot at reaching their goal.

The first team up is Ireland. They put together a good team this year. We have Brianne O’Donoghue, Declan Brady, Brian Callaghan, and Kaitlyn MacGuire. The team huddles for a moment, then breaks ranks. First up to be stunned is Brady. Brady places his toes on the cliff edge, opting to try for a face first dive. The Stunning Spell is administered beautifully, and Brady topples over the edge of the cliff. He gets nearly halfway down with a smooth fall, but then he snags on a thorn bush, sending him a little off, so he bangs his right arm and leg on an outcrop of rock. Twirling through the rest of the fall, he hits the water with a splash. The judges award him an 8.5. Not bad at all.

MacGuire and Callaghan do decently, pulling in a 9 and an 8 respectively, but they appear to be a little banged up after their falls, MacGuire bearing a broken leg and a gash on her forehead and Callaghan breaking both arms, spraining an ankle, and walking around looking a little dazed due to a concussion. O’Donoghue did very poorly, hitting almost every obstacle on the way down, and received a 6.5. She was rushed away as soon as she was fished out of the water. We will hopefully be updated on her health as the event proceeds.

Spain is up next. The first to be stunned is Clarisa Guerra. Near the bottom she hit some rocks but overall a decent fall. That girl knows how to aim her fall when she is unconscious. Kids at home should be studying that flawless technique. Guerra is rewarded a solid 9.5. Guerra’s teammate, Alfreda Espina, does not have such good luck.

Right out of the gate, she hit a rock, then another rock, then a thorn bush, snagging her jacket. She became stuck halfway down the cliff face. Espina dangled there, never to reach the bottom. The judges are therefore unable to give her a score.

While Alrfeda Espina still hung from the thorn bush, the two remaining members of the Spanish team took their turns to be stunned. Díaz and Medina both earned a score of 8.

Now the team of Russia is ready to go. First up was Bogdon Krozlov. He hit three outcroppings and two thorn bushes but still managed to land in the water with only one broken limb. He receives an 8.5.

Krozlov’s teammates, Vadim Ivonov and Anton Pajari did exceptional as well, Ivonov scoring a 9 and Pajari earning an 8. The last of the Russian team, Dominika Volkova, is rather inexperienced in the world of Cliff Stunning, but we are told that she practiced very hard for this moment. Volkova is stunned and topples over the edge of the cliff. She hits several obstacles on the way down, but it was really not a bad fall for her first Wizolympics. She is severely injured and carted off to be tended to with O’Donoghue, but congratulations to Volkova on her first Wizolympics Cliff Stunning. She earns a score of 7.

Now, the scores have been tallied, and the teams proceeding to the finals are Ireland and Russia!


-Quilla Rag, Daily Prophet reporter


Amy Hogan

I was 9 years old when I discovered the magic that is “Harry Potter.” I am a proud Hufflepuff and exceedingly good at eating, reading, being sarcastic, and over-thinking small tasks. Since I spent too much time worrying about the correct way to write this bio, this is all I was able to come up with before the deadline.