Can Darren Criss Really Compete with the Sorting Hat?

Last week, BuzzFeed commissioned A Very Potter Musical star Darren Criss to Sort some of Broadway’s most famous characters into the Hogwarts Houses. No one is doubting Darren’s Potter knowledge, of course, but how spot on was he?

Elphaba from Wicked: Darren says Slytherin – not because she’s necessarily evil but because she has a strong personality and a lot of drive. I’d have to disagree: Elphaba may be ambitious, but her strong heart and mind, plus her unwavering courage to get what she wants, screams Gryffindor to me. Listen to the lyrics of “Defying Gravity”! Going against the grain and doing the impossible despite what others say is a very Gryffindor goal to have.

Glinda from Wicked: Now, Darren put Glinda into Ravenclaw, despite acknowledging that she’s a bit of an airhead. If you ask me (which, since you’re reading this, I assume you ARE indeed wondering what I think), Glinda is much more Slytherin. She’s aristocratic, in a way. She cares about how she presents herself to the world, and when her friendship with Elphaba ceases to be advantageous to her and the Witch becomes Wicked, Glinda denies ever being involved with her. Without a doubt, these are Slytherin traits.

Elder Cunningham from Book of Mormon: I think Darren was spot on here: Cunningham is a Hufflepuff. Even though he’s not too bright, he’s so genuine and tries so hard that you have to love him, and hard work is a defining trait of Helga’s House.

Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton: Hamilton seemed a bit of a Hatstall for Darren, who had a tough time choosing between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Certainly, Hamilton is intelligent, but I believe his driving force is his passion and ideals more than his brains. While a Ravenclaw might follow their brain more than anything, a Gryffindor follows their heart, and that’s ultimately who Hamilton is.

Simba from The Lion King: Darren was spot on: Simba is obviously a Gryffindor! His daring, leadership, and natural goodness all make him a perfect Gryffindor – not unlike Harry himself!

Roxie Hart from Chicago: Another one Darren really hit the nail on the head with – Roxie is so Slytherin it hurts. She’s ambitious and doesn’t let anything get between her and what she wants. She’s very clever and knows exactly how to get what she wants, the perfect combination of brains and drive for a Slytherin.

Aladdin from Aladdin: I feel a bit like the Sorting Hat trying to decide where to put Harry right now  – on the one hand, he’s brave and passionate; on the other, he’d do well in Slytherin, too. After all, Aladdin is a thief and lies about his identity so that he can get whatever he wants. Darren has a good point with Gryffindor, but I’d have to say Slytherin.

The Witch from Into the Woods: Although Darren says Ravenclaw, I feel a bit more ambivalent about this character – certainly, she’s smart, but she’s also driven by ambition and revenge. Although Ravenclaws can be a bit morally gray, I can see her fitting in Slytherin House, too. I’m going to chalk this one up to a Hatstall for myself, although Darren makes a good case.

J. Pierrepont Finch from How to Succeed: I think we ought to trust Darren on this one since he played the character, and I think he picked the right House, too: although he is ambitious, he’s also a hard worker and genuinely doesn’t want to step on toes to get where he’s going. His intentions are pure, despite the fact the title of the play sounds oh, so Slytherin.

Jamie from The Last Five Years: Jamie, as Darren says, is a total Ravenclaw: A writer and avid reader, Jamie is the ideal Ravenclaw combo of smart and creative.

The Emcee from Cabaret: Definitely a conniving and sly character, I’d have to agree with Darren on this one and say the Emcee is a total Slytherin.

How do you think Darren did? Let us know in the comments!

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