Peeves’s Top Tips for Ruining Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching! Being a singleton this year, I’m indulging my mischievous side and imagining the chaos I could create if I took inspiration from Peeves! Rest assured, no witches or wizards were harmed in the creation of this post.
Ruin the Mood
It goes without saying that Peeves is the master of ruining a mood! Do you have a bag of tarantulas on hand? Good! See that couple over there in Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop? The ones to the left and in the corner! Why don’t you swap the golden cherub’s bag of confetti for the one full of tarantulas?! That’ll break the romantic mood for sure! Just be careful to hide and watch from a safe distance; you don’t want a tarantula crawling up your leg!
Send Students Screaming!
Has that smooching couple stolen your favorite corner in the library again? Typical! Right by the Magizoology books. Hmm, let’s think like Peeves. I think giving one of them a shock might work. Reckon you’ve mastered the swish and flick motion to produce the Levitation Charm? I’ve got a spare Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Headless Hat you can use. Here you go! Whisper the incantation Wingardium Leviosa and put the hat on that guy’s head! When the girl realizes she’s kissing a headless student and shrieks, Madame Pince will be sure to chase them out of the library.
Create a Bang!
Isn’t that your friend with your crush? Sigh, well I suppose you didn’t ask them out, so you can’t be too mad at them… maybe we could just make the date a little less magical. Okay, I’ve got it! Let’s go to the room above and push over a cabinet! The loud bang will startle them and ruin the moment. We don’t want to be too mean; it is your friend, after all!
Target Practice
Hmm, look at all the couples waiting by the doors to go to Hogsmeade for a romantic day trip. Didn’t you say you wanted to try out for the position of Beater for your House Quidditch team? This is the perfect time for you to practice! I’ve filled these water balloons; go on and take a few! 25 points for every person you hit and 50 points every time you ruin a romantic moment!
Send a Heartfelt Message
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty exhausted now. Let’s use this time to make some Valentine’s Day cards. Peeves has an impressive reputation for creating songs (a special talent shared by an impressive number of MuggleNet contributors). I think this skill could be helpful to make our own cards…
Violets are blue,
I’ve cursed this card,
To smell like poo.
Or how about…
Your skin is blue,
The Shrieking Shack,
Is home for you.
Good work, everyone! I think I should go hide in the Gryffindor common room before Filch finds me…