Will you attend my birthday party?

Dear Gilderoy,

I just wanted to let you know that I am your #1 Fan. I love all of your Published Works and my favorite is Magical Me, because I have a very special signed copy! I think that you are a remarkable person. I was wondering, Gilderoy, if you could make a very special guest appearance at my 11th birthday party. It would make turning eleven seem even more unforgettable than it already is. But if you are too busy marketing hair care products, writing more books, or going on more adventures, I understand. And I also wish the best to my favorite fellow Ravenclaw.

With admiration,
Requesting Ravenclaw

Dear Fellow Racenclaw,

I would be honored to attend your eleventh birthday party. How could I refuse such an enthusiastic follower of my Published Works?

I wish I could say that I recalled signing your copy of Magical Me, but as you’re no doubt aware, I’ve suffered certain… er… difficulties of late. In fact, I’ve been re-reading my own books (numerous times) to remind myself of many events that have slipped my mind. I blush as I write this, but I’m amazed by the feats I’ve accomplished. It’s very odd to have absolutely no memory of doing any of them. No wonder you are such a fan.

Here’s an early birthday present for you: I’ve begun a new magnum opus based on the last few years of my life entitled Remembering Moi. Those who’ve read the early chapters assure me that it will put me right back on Witch Weekly’s bestseller list. Of course, I would not be so bold as to make such predictions yet. But I’ll be pleased to come to your celebration, and I promise to bring plenty of autographed photos as party favors.

All the Best,
Gilderoy Lockhart

Attached note from St. Mungo’s:

Our hospital staff has approved your request to take our patient, Gilderoy Lockhart off premises for a period of two hours on the date you provided to us. Mr. Lockhart will travel by the Floo Network directly to your living room fireplace. We do ask that you make sure he is returned safely and on time and that his EAR (Emergency Advanced Rememberall) – imprinted with the patient’s vital statistics and instructions back to the hospital — stays with him at all times. We appreciate your cooperation and wish you a very happy 11th birthday.