Skip to content

MuggleNet

  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Features / The Daily Prophet

Twins’ Tall Tales: My Professor Is a Vampire!

by Richa Venkatraman · October 29, 2017

Bright yellow sunlight streamed into the sitting room of the Burrow, seemingly setting the vivid red hair of the four youngest Weasleys ablaze. Ron and Ginny were eagerly watching as Fred and George took inventory of their purchases at Diagon Alley that morning. They’d spent considerable time showing each item off, all as Ginny peppered them with questions.

 

Source

 

“Ooh! What’s that at the bottom of your bag?” she asked.

“Patience, Ginny, we were just about to show you!” Fred grinned at his sister.

Fred, with a dramatic flourish, scooped a handful of garlic bulbs from his bag and let them spill all over the floor. Ron picked up a bulb near his knee, eyeing it cautiously. “Er… why did you buy so much garlic?”

Fred and George turned to each other, incredulous. “You don’t know?” Fred asked faintly.

“Garlic’s the one thing every Hogwarts student simply must have!” George shook his head at Ron in disbelief.

“Why?” Ginny asked. “Ooh! Is it a potions ingredient? Bill and Charlie and Percy never had to buy it, though. But maybe the Potions master wanted everyone to buy it this year -“

Fred held up a hand. “Yes, Gin, it is important to Potions in a sense…” He exchanged dark looks with George.

“… but it’s not something the Potions master would want around.” George finished. Then he shook his head. “I shouldn’t say any more. I’ll only frighten you both.”

“Frightened? I’m not frightened of anything!” Ron drew himself up in defiance. “I’m a Gryffindor!”

“You’re not in Gryffindor yet, Ron.” George waved a dismissive hand. “You could be a Hufflepuff, for all you know.” Ron lapsed into silence.

“But why do we need garlic?” Ginny pleaded. “You must tell us now you’ve brought it up, or I’m just going to keep asking and -“

“Oh, all right… if you must know…” George leaned in close, staring seriously into their eyes, “one of the Hogwarts professors… is a vampire.”

The light in the room seemed to dim, then vanish altogether, casting them in shadow. Fred had drawn the curtains, blocking out the afternoon sun.

“If we’re to tell the story, George, it must be in the proper atmosphere.”

“Right you are, Fred.” George turned back to his siblings, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“You see, no one really knows where the potions master, Severus Snape, came from. He just appeared one day, and Dumbledore let him teach.” George nodded gravely at them.

Fred picked up the story. “His skin is deathly pale, his hair lank and dark. And his eyes… black as bottomless pits.

“He teaches all day in the dungeons. In the dungeons, he’s protected -“

“Wait!” Ginny interjected. “How can you know so much about him?”

“Yeah, you haven’t been to Hogwarts yet!” Ron added.

Fred drew himself up importantly. “Bill told me.”

Ron and Ginny gasped as one; Bill’s word was unquestionable. Fred gave them a smug smile and continued his tale.

“By day, he cannot roam the castle, for the sunlight would fry him like an egg. But at night, he roams the forest, in search of beasts to drain. It’s part of his contract with Dumbledore, see. He must avoid harming the students. But sometimes… he can’t help himself.

“If you keep your trusty garlic with you…” – here, Fred lovingly patted the pile of garlic at his knees – “… you’ll be protected. But if you don’t…

 

Source

 

“You’ll be walking down a dark corridor at night. Every shadow on the wall could be him, following you. You’ll feel a prickling on the back of your neck, like someone breathing on it, but you’ll turn around… and there will be no one there.

“You’ll hear the tapping of footsteps behind you, and you’ll turn down the wrong corridor to avoid them. It’ll be perfectly silent, perfectly dark, not even moonlight to show you where you are. And that’s where he –

“GETS YOU!”

AAAARGH!

George, while Fred was talking, had snuck around and grabbed Ron’s stomach from behind. Ginny had screamed too but now joined her brothers in rolling on the floor, hysterical with laughter at the expression on Ron’s face. Suddenly –

“BOYS!” Everyone froze in terror as Mrs. Weasley’s figure appeared at the doorway.

“What on earth is going on here? And who nicked all my garlic?”

 

Did you enjoy this story? Check out the other stories in this series!

“Twins’ Tall Tales: The Haunted Chamber”

“Twins’ Tall Tales: The Nefarious Painting”

“Twins’ Tall Tales: Troll Fighting”

“Twins’ Tall Tales: The Man-Eating Squid”

“Twins’ Tall Tales: How the Bloody Baron Died”

“Twins’ Tall Tales: Watch Out for Mrs. Norris”

Social:

  • Next story The Binghamton Philharmonic’s “Harry Potter” Concert Left Us Wanting More… In a Good Way!
  • Previous story Twins’ Tall Tales: How the Bloody Baron Died

MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

July 2025

Mon, Jul 7

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 movie (London premiere)
Recurs yearly

2011

Tue, Jul 8

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire book
Recurs yearly

2000

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban book (UK)
Recurs yearly

1999

WWoHP Diagon Alley at Universal Orlando's anniversary
Recurs yearly

2014

Wed, Jul 9

David O'Hara's birthday
Recurs yearly

Albert Runcorn

Thu, Jul 10

Fiona Shaw's birthday
Recurs yearly

Petunia Dursley

Fri, Jul 11

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (US)
Recurs yearly

2007

MuggleNet podcasts are sponsored in part by Secretlab.

Thanks to its research-backed ergonomic design, including a proprietary 4-way adaptive lumbar support system, the Secretlab TITAN Evo Harry Potter Edition will comfortably support you even when you’re up to no good.

Did You Know

Term at Hogwarts begins on September 1.

Potter History

March 30, 2005 – Half-Blood Prince promotional stand was released, revealing new artwork by Mary GrandPré.

Potter Quote

“Longbottom, kindly do not reveal that you can’t even perform a simple Switching Spell in front of anyone from Durmstrang!”

MuggleNet is an unofficial Harry Potter fansite.
Please email us if you have any questions or concerns.
© 1999–2025 MuggleNet.com. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy | COPPA Policy | Terms of Use | Feedback


MuggleNet is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and Bookshop.org's affiliate program, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and bookshop.org.