Ten Funniest “Harry Potter” Quotes Excluded from the Films
The Harry Potter films are brilliant adaptations of the source material. However, there are also several funny lines that didn’t make the final cuts. Here are ten quotes from the books we would have loved to have seen on screen.
1. Arthur’s Introduction
“Your sons flew that car to Harry’s house and back last night!” shouted Mrs. Weasley. “What have you got to say about that, eh?”
“Did you really?” said Mr. Weasley eagerly. “Did it go all right?” (CoS 39)
Arthur’s unexpectedly inquisitive response to Molly’s accusation makes this funny. Plus, it was the perfect first introduction to Arthur.
2. Positive Professor McGonagall
She stopped again, and then said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don’t let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in.” (PoA 109)
This was a typical line from the books’ version of Professor McGonagall, who had some of the best lines that didn’t make it into the films across the whole series. Although the films gave her several funny lines, we would’ve loved to see this one included among them.
3. Helpful Mrs. Weasley
“Fine,” snapped Mrs. Weasley. “Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh.” (GoF 157)
Mrs. Weasley had a lot to deal with while raising seven children, so it’s no wonder that she snapped at them every once in a while. These moments sometimes led to great zingers.
4. Sassy Harry
“Listening to the news! Again?”
“Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry. (OotP 6)
Book Harry was filled with sassy comebacks to his authority figures – especially ones he didn’t like, such as the Dursleys. It’s a shame more of these one-liners weren’t included.
5. Helpful Moody
“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” (OotP 48)
The real Mad-Eye Moody wasn’t in the films a lot, which means some of his advice remains in the books for readers to discover. (Like Tonks, we’re curious how he came across this particular piece of wisdom.)
6. Sarcastic Harry
“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,” said Harry loudly, “there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.” (OotP 317)
Umbridge really rubbed Harry the wrong way in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, resulting in him often saying things that got him in trouble. This was one of the funnier ones.
7. Lighthearted Fred and George
WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT
YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT
THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION
THAT’S GRIPPING THE NATION. (HBP 116)
This marketing was typical of Fred and George, making a serious situation a little funnier and more joyful.
8. Respectful Harry
“Yes,” said Harry stiffly.
“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.” (HPB 180)
This is another example of an iconic sassy line Harry came up with on the spot that was cut. It would’ve been fun to watch Daniel Radcliffe and Alan Rickman play out this exchange, though.
9. Disciplinary Flitwick
I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick. (HBP 356)
Seamus was known for blowing many things up with his wand – and as punishment, Flitwick set him these lines to do. Flitwick wasn’t that prominent in the films, but he appeared to be one of the teachers with a good sense of humor, so it was a shame that some of his funny moments were cut.
10. Witty Ginny
“You’d think people had better things to gossip about,” said Ginny, as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry’s legs and reading the Daily Prophet. “Three dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.” (HBP 535)
Book Ginny came up with numerous hilarious and interesting lines, and the time she spends with the trio after getting together with Harry brings us some fun banter. Unfortunately, this (and much of the rest of her spirited personality) didn’t translate into the films.
Do you have any favorite cut funny lines from the books? Let us know in the comments!