CC #495, Week of December 17, 2023

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

Dumbledore: “Barty! DID YOU PUT HARRY’S NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!”
Crouch Jr.: “Yes, I did.”
Dumbledore: “…Well, this is awkward. I wasn’t expecting you to admit it so quickly.”
—Sam

Crouch: “Come closer, child.”
Harry: “Oooh, candy!”
Dumbledore: “No, no, sweetie! Not from strangers.”
—D.F.S.

Crouch: “This tattoo means I’ve been marked to go back to play Doctor Who for the 60th anniversary.”
—Josh

Harry: “Professor, how could this guy fool you into thinking he was Moody for a full year?”
Dumbledore: “Look, I wasn’t paying much attention because I was so busy shouting at everyone throughout the whole year.”
—Sam

Harry: “As long as we’re showing off our ink, why don’t we ask Professor McGonagall to give us a peek at what she has on her…”
McGonagall: “One more word, Potter, and I’ll turn you into a tea cozy!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Barty: “You know, Harry, as I am still your teacher, because you didn’t die in the cemetery, 50 points from Gryffindor.”
—Josh

Snape: (to Crouch) “You know, that stupid tongue flick is why everyone always stayed away from you at the Death Eater parties.”
—Sam

Dumbledore: “Listen, Death Eater.”
Crouch: “I’m not a Death Eater. This tattoo represents that I finished a 7-day juice cleanse. The skull spitting out the snake represents me purging my body of all toxins.”
—Liam

Crouch: “Want to hear my tragic backstory that explains how I got out of Azkaban, reunited with Voldemort, and all that?”
Dumbledore: “I would, but the movie is almost over, so…”
—Sam

Me showing off my new drunk tattoo to my only-slightly-less-drunk friends
—Maxie

Harry: “You got Hagrid to show me the dragons, arranged for Cedric to tell me about the egg clue, and bewitched Krum. Is there anything that happened this year that you weren’t responsible for?”
Crouch: “I had nothing to do with Ron’s dress robes. Even I’m not THAT evil.”
—Sam

Me showing my siblings the totally awesome temporary tattoo I just found in the Frosted Flakes.
—William

Crouch: “Ah, the traitor Snape. Don’t tell me your affiliation with Dumbledore is still based on your infatuation with that ginger Mudblood.”
Harry: “What’s he talking about?”
Snape: “Uh, nothing. Just ignore that.”
—Sam

Barty Crouch Jr.: “…And that’s how I helped the Dark Lord return to power.”
Fudge: (offscreen) “I still don’t believe he’s back!”
—Tommy

Crouch Jr.: “Join the Dark side.”
Harry: “No. Never!”
Crouch Jr.: “You know that time I turned Draco Malfoy into a ferret? We could do things like that together.”
Harry: “Hmm, on second thought…”
—Sam

David: “I hope I don’t lose this hand while battling a Sycorax.”
—Riley