Week of April 27, 2003
Spidey: Hello, I’m Professor Spider-Man. I’ll be taking up the DADA class after Professor Moody leaves… what’s wrong with him?
Harry: He’s been terrified of spiders since 2nd Year…
Harry: I know, I see it too!
Ron: What is that thing, Harry? It’s like a spider!
Hary: Oh, it’s worse than a spider…
Ron: It is?
Harry: Oh, yes it is. Yes it is!
Ron: What is it then?!?
Spidey: Am I really that frightening? Wow, I didn’t notice…
Harry: *Walking with Ron into the hollow* I hate being in the Caption Contest.. Why can’t they take pictures of Malfoy, or Professor Dumbledore, or… SPIDER-MAN?!?
Ron: Hey, great idea!
All: *at once* Can I have your autograph?!?
Dan: Chris, why is Spider-Man here?
Chris: Didn’t we tell you? Aragog quit so Spidey’s here to take his place.
Ron: Oh, no! My dream is coming true! Spider-Man came on the set and now he’s going to wrap me up with his web stringy stuff, AAAAH!
Ron: Uhh.. Mr. Spider-Man, sir, can you tell us … wh..where…
Harry: Can you tell us where Waldo is?
Ron: ‘WHY can’t you be Butterfly-Man?!?’
-Lauren (Variation by Evenstar)
Spider-Man: Spider-Sense is tingling!
Harry: My Harry-Sense is tingling!
Ron: My Poor-kid-who-has-a-stupid-rat-and-provides-good-humor-Sense is tingling!
Spidey: You’re wizards, eh? Well can you do this? *lifts wrist and web shoots out*
Harry: No… but I can do this! *lifts wand and transforms Spider-Man into a sofa cushion*
Harry: Now does he look scary to you, Ron?
*Throws cushion at spiders and runs*
Ron: *Runs with Harry as they scream like morons*
Harry: ‘Hey, Ron, his chest is bigger than Hermione‘s ! *poke* Do you work out?’
-Brendan and Shannon
Spidey: Hi! I’m your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
Harry : I know! And you’re also Peter Parker!
Spidey: How did you know that?
Harry: I’ve stolen ALL of Dudley’s comic books!
Spidey: Oh, well.. is there anything I can help you with?
Harry: No thanks, I have everything under control.
Spidey: What about your friend?
Harry: Oh, Ron? He’s *whispers* arachnaphobic…
Spidey: *Grins and wraps Ron’s legs up in web*
Ron: Are you sure this is the right – Woah, who are you?
Spidey: , I’m your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
Harry: What are you doing in this movie?
Spidey: I’m looking for this mean goblin, kinda green, who flies around on a glider.. have you seen him?
Harry: The only goblins we know are working at Gringotts Bank…
Spidey: He’s holding up a bank?!? Thanks for the tip, citizens, don’t stay out too late! *swings away*
Ron: He’s kind of daft if you ask me…
Harry: Must be wearing the mask too tight…
Ron: There’s only one thing I fear more than spiders…
Harry: What’s that?
Ron: Men who wear tight pants.. .
A scene from ‘Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Jealous Superheros‘
Ron and Harry: England!
Ron and Harry: ENGLAND!
Chris: What are you doing?
Harry: We’re debating over which country is better!
Chris: Hey, if you want to argue with the Land of the Free, you’re fired!
Ron: That’s what we get with an American director…
Harry: Aragog! There’s something different about you! New haircut or something?
Ron: No, Harry, he’s just been making out with Kirsten Dunst…
Spider-Man: I’m Ravenclaw’s new superhero! Superman is Gryffindor’s superhero, and Batman is the Hufflepuff’s superhero!
Harry: Who is Slytherin’s new superhero?
Ron: ‘Harry, you berk! Scabbers was PETER PETTIGREW, not PETER PARKER!‘
Spidey: My Spider-Senses are tingling!
Ron: *whispers* It must be mating season…
Spidey: I saw the Bat Signal, Batman was too busy. Something about the Batmobile eloping with a wild flying car…
‘I don’t care if you’re Harry Potter,OR that you defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort! You STILL can’t kiss Kirsten Dunst!!!’
Harry: A Muggle wearing a brightly-colored spandex jumpsuit… this can only mean one thing…
Ron: *screams* AAAH! Richard Simmons!
Richard: Hi, boys ! Time to burn off all those Treacle Tarts and Chocolate Frogs! …Today we’re dancing to ‘Hits of the 50’s’!!!
Harry: Now I understand why they call this the Forbidden Forest! Where’s Aragog when you need him?!?
‘You know, if you took Ginny to the Yule Ball in Book Seven, we could have quite the biggest blockbuster!’
Ron: How do you breathe in there?
Harry: Shh! Don’t ruin the scene!
Spidey: Actually, it’s quite easy. All you have to do is… wait.. *falls down and suffocates*
Harry: Ron, I think Fred and George have been playing with your toys again…
Ron: What do you mean?
Harry: Look at him!
Ron: Oh, no, that was Ginny’s old barbie doll.
Aragog: Uh.. this is my nephew… he’s very disturbed… meeting strangers upsets him.. That’s why I kept him upstairs…
Harry: Now where did I hear that one before?
Spidey: I can throw webs from my hands, I can climb on walls, and I can fly! What can you do?
Harry: I can.. make stuff float, turn into people.. and light the end of my wand.
Spidey: What about your friend?
Harry: He just stands there.. whining non-stop.
Spidey: Do you know where I can find the Hufflepuff Common Room?
Harry: Dude, that joke is totally over, man…
Spidey: My enemy is big, green, and has an evil insane laugh!
Harry: Mine killed my parents.
Spidey: Dangit, you win!
Eric: ‘Hey, Harry, does this Spidey costume make me look fat?‘
Harry: I see, I understand.. I don’t know why!
Ron: Indeed. It’s scary to think about it any other way.
Harry: Yes, just imagine there being a Speech Bubble for someone who doesn’t even have a visible mouth!!!
Ron: Wow! It’s Spider-Man!
Harry: Hey, Spidey, you’ve got something on your shirt…
Spidey : *looks down*
Harry: *flogs Spidey’s nose* HA! GOTCHA!