Week of October 7, 2007
Harry: a-avad…avada ke… avada keda-
Voldemort: *Patiently* Sound it out…
‘No, officer, this is a – uh – walking stick. Not an aerosol can.’
Harry Potter’s Lose Five Pounds in One Week exercise plan
Harry: ‘Stretch that wand arm, ladies, I want you to feel the burn! Just keep it up, and those pounds will melt like magic!’
Harry: *To Voldemort* You’ll never win, you’ll never kill me!
Voldemort: Well… that was easy.
Dumbledore: Harry, tell me again about this dream of yours.
Harry: There’s a corridor. I’m running down it toward this door, but there is no end. I try to ask for directions, but nobody speaks English. Even the graffiti is in Spanish. Sir, does this make any sense to you?
Dumbledore: Ah. Si…
-The Flying Squirrell
*Harry Potter EN ESPAÑOL*
Harry: ¡No, no me gusta los dementadoros!
El Dementoadoro: ¿Por qúe? ¿Está tú madre?
Harry: Si señor, por favor. ¡Vas!
El Dementadoro: Ah, si. Voy. No tengo tú alma.
Harry: Muchas gracias.
La Umbridge: ¡NO! ¡AGUAFIESTAS!
Harry: No, I don’t like the dementors!
Dementor: Why? Is it your mother?
Harry: Yes sir, please. Go!
Dementor: Ah, yes. I am going. I do not have your soul.
Harry: Thank you very much.
Umbridge: NO! PARTY POOPERS!
Harry: ‘So… if the wall behind me says Si, does the other one say No?’
Harry’s latest attempt to impress Ginny: one-handed push-ups.
Harry: Graffitius Maxima!
*Graffiti appears on wall*
After 100 choruses of ‘Stop in the Name of Love,’ Harry finally met his goal of defeating Lord Voldemort by singing from Diana Ross’ ‘The Best of’ album.
Stan Shunpike: *Off-screen* ‘Choo doin’ down there?
Harry: I… fell…
Stan: ‘Choo fall fer? Dementors again?
Harry: No… it was the shock of seeing Big D ‘all blinged out.’
Harry: Here, it’s dangerous out there, take this!
Link: *ZELDA Get-Item Theme Plays*
Harry: Motherfudge! A Dementor!
Fudge’s Mother: Somebody call my name?
Harry: Um… did you know that it’s physically impossible to lick your elbow?
Dementor: *Stops, tries to lick its elbow, and its robes fall off in the attempt*
Harry: Ugh… that’s disgusting…
Harry: ‘Must… poke… wall…’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Being released in 3-D in Spain on October 29, 2007.
Harry: ‘Get away from me! I have to finish spray-painting Sirius Lives on the wall.’
Harry: Dementors make you relive your worst memories. What did they make you think of, Big D?
Dudley: Remember when I was on a diet?
Although Harry Potter would usually ‘save the day’ at times like these, he decided that the situation called for a little spontaneous break-dancing instead.
Dudley: *In the background* ‘Go, Harry! Go! Go! Go Harry!’
Voldemort: We are related very distantly through the Peverells.
Harry: Nooooooo! That’s impossible!
Hermione: Not really. The half- and pure-bloods are all inbreeds.
Harry: ‘Oh no, a Dementor! Wait. Good Lord, TWO Dementors! It’s not like I haven’t fought about 100 of these off in my third year…’
Harry: OH MY GOD! MY WAND’S SWELLING! It’s getting bigger and bigger! IT’S GOING TO EAT ME! AAAAAHHHH!!!!
-Maia and Iael
Dan: Keep those scissors AWAY from me, yer hear?
Hairstylist: Come on, Dan! I’ll do it better this time, I swear!
Dan: And let me be yet again a laughing stock in the Caption Contest? I think not!
Harry: ‘Look, Snape, I’m sorry I called you my Almost Daddy…’
Dan: I’ve pulled out EXCALIBUR! Now I am the King of England!
David Yates: Dan, you’re in Harry Potter, remember?
Dan: Oh yeah – sorry.
‘Oi, you! Gimme your jacket. Hobo!Harry is trying to sleep.’
Dementor: *Hovering over Harry, threateningly*
Harry: *Thinking* What was the spell Professor Lupin taught me that saved my life in Year Three? It was something like Expecting Severus… no, Exploiting Hogwarts… no, no, no. Darn, what was it? Exploding Horcrux? Horcrux? Hehe, I just made up a word! Uh-oh…
Ron: Harry, why are you on the ground?
Harry: *Yelling angrily* I like the ground! Leave me alone!
Ron: *Cough* Nutcase. *Cough*
Harry: ‘How dare you suggest I’ve been sleeping in the subway! This is just hat hair, honest!’