Sorting the “Gilmore Girls” Characters – Part 1
Grab a coffee, a slice of pizza, and an unhealthy variety of additional snacks! Since Gilmore Girls came back onto our screens via the magical power of Netflix in November for the revival season, it has once again soared in popularity. Whether we’ll get any more revival episodes in the future is questionable. But during the wait to find out, what better way to tide ourselves over than to Sort our favorite characters into their Hogwarts and Ilvermorny Houses?
1. Rory Gilmore
Following an array of Harry Potter characters, particularly Hermione, I feel like Rory is the character I connect most with within the realms of fiction, which is why I placed her in a combination of Ravenclaw and Thunderbird. She’s intelligent and is proud to use her intellect to get her where she needs to be, such as her dream college: Harvard University (although she doesn’t end up there – oops, spoilers…). From the pilot episode, we see Rory as the anxious student who wants to get everything right, writes endless lists, and studies religiously. And of course, she’s never without a book. Rory exudes Ravenclaw airs, but she’s also more than a head in a book. Her desire to travel, become a political journalist, and see more beyond Stars Hollow shows her thirst for adventure, hence being an excellent Thunderclaw!
2. Lorelai Gilmore
Lorelai’s House is debatable, but for me she primarily glows Gryffindor. Although she wants stability, Lorelai is a risk-taker in most of her actions (e.g., raising young Rory alone in a hotel potting shed while working her way through said hotel’s hierarchy). Her bravery in taking such risks (even if it means facing her difficult, estranged parents) for the sake of better lives for herself and Rory, not to forget her daring sense of adventure and whimsy, make Lorelai an easy Gryffindor. As for her Ilvermorny House, the warrior qualities of needing to fight to push progress firmly place this coffee-addict in Wampus.
3. Luke Danes
It couldn’t be more obvious that Luke is a Hufflepuff in serious denial. He is the grumpiest badger known to mankind. Nevertheless, throughout Gilmore Girls he becomes more accepting of it. He is a badger who snarls at the fact that they have to hand coffee to people, even though it’s their job and they love it. Luke growls about medieval reenactors but then goes and makes them hot chocolate during a snowstorm. He argues with Lorelai but then will purposely break into her house so that he can repair things. The thought of having his nephew, Jess, come to live with him is sickening, and yet he still welcomes him with more love than perhaps he deserves. Luke is a Hufflepuff in the way that Voldemort is a Slytherin. Ilvermorny-wise: Despite the bitter, moody exterior, Luke is all heart. How could we not place him in Pukwudgie?
4. Paris Geller
Slytherin. If Paris Geller had attended Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat would have reacted to her in the same way they did upon landing on Draco Malfoy’s head. Of course, Paris has many qualities that align her with Ravenclaw: She’s exceptionally smart, studious, and an intensely hard worker when it comes to academia. But knowledge is quashed by her overwhelming ambition and manipulative demeanor, ultimately making her a Slytherin. Paris is willing to crush people in order to get what she wants, regardless of the collateral damage. With that in mind, frankly it’s a miracle she became such good friends with Rory. Paris doesn’t have friends; she has enemies, and many, many enemies. She doesn’t care for sentimentality or kindness if it stops her from becoming the best. That being said, given the chance, she can set these motives aside and use her heart. As a Slytherin primary, Ravenclaw secondary, Horned Serpent would be the perfect Ilvermorny House for her.
Want more from the Sorting Hat’s adventures in Sorting the Gilmore Girls characters? Well then, you’ll just have to stick around for Part 2…