Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw

Dear Professor Sprout,

I’ve been asked into Hogsmeade by two boys. One is a strong, handsome Gryffindor, the other a witty and intelligent Ravenclaw. I like them both, so who should I choose?

Yours waiting anxiously,

Helga’s most helpful Hufflepuff.

Dear Helga’s most helpful Hufflepuff,

Choosing who to date always reminds me of the many gardening dilemmas I face daily. Should I prune? How many drops of magical fertiliser should I add to my daffodils? Will the roses look better in my vase than the carnations. One cannot know until one tries. Your Gryffindor may be handsome, but perhaps he has no conversation. Your Ravenclaw might be witty, but in all likelihood will only talk about himself. If the boys are not amenable to sharing the date with another, and you really cannot choose, then might I suggest a Hufflepuff? Attentive to your needs, and very generous. I’m sure you’d have a wonderful time. Good luck!

Pomona Sprout