Padma Patil wows crowd at DADA demonstration
Scribble Inkwell reporting from Dumbledore’s Army Live!: Expo Patronum, Hogwarts’s first ever expo. As the day wears on, the Room of Requirement continues to amaze those of us who never discovered the magical room in our own years at Hogwarts. Though admitting increasing numbers of witches and wizards—among other creatures—the room has grown to comfortably accommodate all. And the doors appear unwilling to allow access to reporter and author Rita Skeeter.
As I watch, Hagrid clears the floor and 24 life-like Umbridges pop up in the center of the room. Across from the decoys, a few of the original DA members take their places. Among these originals are best friends to the ChosenOne Ron and Hermione Weasley, along with Ginny Potter, George and Angelina Weasley, Katie Bell, and Padma and Parvati Patil. Let’s watch…
Harry: (standing across from the centermost Umbridges) Wands at the ready!
(All raise wands. Umbridges echo, “I will have order!”)
Harry: One… two… three!
(All flick their wands wordlessly, and the Umbridges’ wands arch across the room. The crowd around the famous witches and wizards fight over the fake wands. Zacharias Smith procures one from the grip of a small child.)
Zacharias: (Stepping forward) Oh, please. Don’t you think the Disarming Charm is a bit tired…?
(Wand pops. Zacharias is left holding an angry woodpecker. He mistakenly releases it, and the animal goes for his nose. Blood spews Mr. Smith’s robes. Mr. Smith does some sort of ancient dance to rid himself of the bird—it does not seem to work.)
Hermione: Do you think we should tell him his wand’s in his hand? A simple Shield Charm…
Ron: He’ll figure it out soon enough. Don’t forget, you set a pack of canaries on me.
Hermione: For good reason… (Glances around at the laughing DA members.) It is a shame, though… Lavender…
Scribble: Mr. Weasley (George), is that trick wand another WWW product? Seems dangerous.
George: Not if you’ve got half a brain, which Smith never has.
Ginny: He’s right. Let it go, Hermione.
Harry continued demonstrations for the better part of an hour. Mr. Smith ran out—hopefully to the hospital wing. The DA members performed many demonstrations in between guiding participants. Romilda Vane, cured from Mrs. Potter’s famous Bat Boogey Hex, was paired with Padma Patil who regaled the crowd with a fancy bit of wand work that sent her Umbridge decoy dancing and singing “Weasley Is Our King.” Miss Patil was prefect of Ravenclaw House in her years at Hogwarts and participated in the Battle of Hogwarts. It should be noted that Zacharias fled the castle through this very room on that same night. He seems to have formed an unfortunate pattern.
Mr. Percy Weasley would like me to inform attendants, hosts, and vendors that dangerous products are not to be left lying about. He’s got enough to get on with without woodpeckers ripping people’s noses off. At least, I think that is what he said. The big-yellow-bird Polyjuice Potion hasn’t worn off. I’m interpreting his flapping and rude gestures along with his proximity to a bloodied Mr. Smith to mean he’s not pleased.
A few reminders from the Ministry concerning the upcoming MuggleNet Live!: Expo Patronum:
- WWW products not sold by Muggles for cosplay are strictly forbidden from the expo this coming April 18 in London. Please support Muggle efforts to create their own versions by purchasing their WWW products. Mr. George Weasley liaisons with the Muggle WWW company, so much of their merchandise is WWW-approved.
- Though they look very much alike, Afshan Azad (@afshan_azad) is not our real Padma Patil. Please do not ask her to perform her dancing-singing-Umbridge spell at MuggleNet Live!: Expo Patronum.
- All condolences to Jessie Cave (@pindippycave) for her death in the Battle of Hogwarts should be withheld, along with poking her to see if she’s really the ghost of Lavender Brown. Aurors will be standing by, though they would rather not have to modify her memory again.
- Lastly, please do not hex or curse Nick Shirm, who played Zacharias Smith in the Muggle movies. He will be afforded extra security. Wrongdoers will be banned from all Muggle and wizard conventions.
For more information on MuggleNet Live!: Expo Patronum, please wave your wands here. Be sure to invite your friends. This is a wonderful way to support our charming Muggle neighbors. They do love their Harry Potter “stories.”
Back to you Arabella…