Tips for Niffler Care
I’d like to begin by assuring everyone that there is no need to panic.
The public has been understandably disturbed by the recent spike in reports of missing Galleons and vicious attacks on individuals with gold teeth. Witches and wizards have flocked to Gringotts in numbers far exceeding the bank’s daily processing capabilities, desperate to deposit their valuables before they become victims of this mysterious crime wave.
After watching the situation worsen over the past few weeks, I’ve determined this crime wave requires a Magizoologist’s investigation, which is why the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has made little progress in unearthing the perpetrators of these assaults. Nifflers are long-snouted burrowing creatures with an affinity for glittery objects, and their recent rise in popularity as house pets is most likely to blame for this uptick in gold-related victimizations. Only competent wizards should handle them, and even I, a practiced Magizoologist, find myself screaming in frustration when my own Niffler wreaks havoc on my belongings.
I don’t believe that anyone except for trained Magizoologists should keep Nifflers, especially as house pets, but people can be a bit stupid about their pets. In the hopes that new Niffler owners will heed my advice, I’ve provided some tips for Niffler care for those who absolutely insist on bringing them into their homes.
1. Keep your Niffler leashed in public. If you must bring your Niffler outside the confines of your home, please keep it securely on a leash. Both the wizarding world and the Muggle world have an abundance of shining, glittery objects your Niffler won’t be able to resist. I suspect an unleashed Niffler was responsible for the recent attack on Wilbur Arkwright, who reported three rings and a golden watch missing after he was knocked backward into a chest of boar tusks outside the Apothecary on Diagon Alley.
2. Clean out your Niffler’s snout. A Niffler with a clean snout will make a mess sniffing around for shiny objects, but when a clogged snout delays a Niffler searching for its prize, the disorder can reach disastrous proportions. Last week, Ministry witch Gertrude Jollenbeck returned home after work to find her kitchen in total disarray – broken dishes, upended cabinets, food strewn about the floor, and a few pieces of her heirloom silver tea set missing. The only evidence left by the burglar was a large quantity of pale, green goo splattered across her silverware drawer.
It may be unpleasant, but Niffler bogeys aren’t nearly as thick and gooey as troll bogeys. Take the time to take care of your Niffler’s snout and you’ll avoid a disaster like Gertrude’s. When cleaning, make sure to use lukewarm water and a turkey baster; you should never attempt to Vanish the phlegm from your Niffler’s nose.
3. Designate a Niffler-safe zone in your garden. Nifflers burrow deep into the earth, and if you let them into your garden, they’ll upend your flowers and vegetables in search of buried treasure. To satisfy their urge for digging, bury some shiny objects in a patch of your garden and let your Niffler go wild! Be aware of where your Niffler hoards its shiny objects; otherwise, you might find yourself waist deep in a pile of golden trinkets.
4. Give your Niffler plenty of love and affection. Nifflers are loving creatures, and very often I find that the amateur owner adopts a Niffler with the same intentions as some Muggles who purchase metal detectors. A Niffler utilized as a living, breathing method of acquiring wealth will intensify its search for gold when it doesn’t receive the love and care that any creature desires. Treat your Niffler with the care it deserves and you’ll be rewarded with a happy house pet who creates manageable messes instead of monstrous ones.
I hope these tips have been helpful. For more tips on taking care of your beasts and stories about my travels abroad, check out the SpeakBeasty podcast! If you find that your Niffler is still misbehaving after incorporating some of this advice into your daily life, you can always contact an official from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.
-Newton Artemis Fido Scamander
Order of Merlin, Second Class