What Your Favorite “Harry Potter” Book Says About You

The books that we regularly return to say volumes about our personalities and preferences. When you factor in the Harry Potter ingredient, and consider just how much of our lives revolve around revisiting the fandom and all of its theories and babble – why, there’s a reason to the Sorting House madness. JKR has infused so much vibrancy and meaning within each and every character that populates her world of magic, within each page of every book, that the declaration “Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite book” is just as significant as those who are Team Cake vs. Team Pie.

So let’s figure out just what kind of person you are when you take up arms on which Harry Potter book is your favorite in the series. This should be fun; let’s dive in!


Sorcerer’s Stone


If Sorcerer’s Stone is your favorite of the series, you are a naïve soul. This doesn’t mean you’re gullible, though. You’re discerning enough about your favorite things – book genres, movies, favorite season of Archer, favorite Disney OTP, etc. – that your friends know exactly which GIF goes perfectly with their “happy birthday!” text. However, you prefer the lighter side of things, when more of the story or character development revolves around wide-eye wonderment as you, along with the protagonist, discover a brand new world. Before that world gets bogged down with elements of despair. Before that world enters the realm of sequels, when you’ve got just that one text to guide you through its nooks and crannies.


Chamber of Secrets


If Chamber of Secrets is your favorite book out of the series, you regularly stalk celebrities on their Instagram profiles. You can hold onto a grudge like no one’s business. You usually consult your horoscope before making big decisions. You occasionally have bouts of angst and emo, especially when you watch that “Jurassic Bark” episode of Futurama. Those bouts, however, are fleeting, easily distracted by thoughts of Grant Gustin. You have the habit of daydreaming either about horrifyingly embarrassing memories or unlikely scenarios that could happen in the future. You never stay too long in fantasy world, though, because your phone constantly lights up with text or social media notifications, all demanding your attention, day in and day out.


Prisoner of Azkaban


If Prisoner of Azkaban is your favorite out of the series, you either swoon over bad boys in movies and TV or you’ve got a thing for antihero backstories. You like things a little bit dark, but not too heavy. You’ve also spent quality time debating the merits of the man bun with your friends. While you don’t own a pet yourself, the amount of pictures and screenshot Snapchats of your family members’ or friends’ pets on your phone is a bit obscene. You’re the planner of your group of friends: You can be counted on to plan activities down to the tiniest detail, as well as come up with various backup plans in case of bad weather or give-in-to-allure-of-Netflix-and-scrub-at-home. You’re not a huge fan of giant parties or big get-togethers. You do the best either one-on-one or in a small, manageable group of people.


Goblet of Fire


If Goblet of Fire is your favorite out of the series, you most identify with Monica from Friends. You’re also a fan of those long-simmering, tension-filled romances – either in your actual life or strictly in the realm of fiction. Your favorite reality TV show is Wipeout. Autumn is your favorite season because it’s bonfire season. You’ve, on many occasions, wondered who first came up with the idea to climb a town’s water tower, A Walk to Remember-style. You also have season passes to every sporting event, and you’ve got every single sporting app to exist in the world downloaded on your phone. You sincerely doubt the validity of the groundhog’s shadow.


Order of the Phoenix


If Order of the Phoenix is your favorite out of the series, angst is your middle name. You used to be an emo kid in middle school. Weezer and Panic! at the Disco’s upcoming dual tour fills you with absolute glee. Your wardrobe comes in shades of black, blue, and green. You tend to ramble when telling stories. You love the concept of high school sweethearts, but only in theory. You have a Fujifilm Instax camera – in muted yellow – and you pepper the walls of your bedroom or office with pictures from this past New Year’s Eve shenanigans. Urban Dictionary is the most-visited website on your browser history. People constantly tell you that you’ve got a knack for teaching, and you love drawing up lesson plans, but you have absolutely no patience. You do not tolerate snitches.


Half-Blood Prince


If Half-Blood Prince is your favorite out of the series, you love romantic comedies, but you also watch the entire Die Hard movie quartet every holiday season. Because you are nuanced. You’ve marked down every special exhibit at the Art Institute on your calendar. You’re never picked first in games, but you’re never the last one to be picked either. Thanksgiving touch football is only tolerable because that means you’ve earned that turkey and giant heaping of stuffing and mashed potatoes. You despise Valentine’s Day, unless the day is spent with your closest friends, as far away from pink and tulle and chocolate roses and overpriced dinners as possible. You’re a social media fiend. You hoard old copies of Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys like they’re going out of style. You’re prone to hyperbole.


Deathly Hallows


If Deathly Hallows is your favorite out of the series, you currently juggle five work crushes and regularly share motivational quotes on your social media feeds. Those quotes are usually set on an aesthetically pleasing background of a sun setting over a European town. You’ve got a “must travel to X places” bucket list stashed away on your phone, to which you’ve been adding to since your freshmen year of college. You have a cheeseboard that you actually use. You also swear like a sailor. Ever since you saw The Parent Trap when you were in middle school, you’ve wanted to fence. So you learned how. Via YouTube tutorial videos. You’re also on the committee of any and every social event, and your favorite holiday is Halloween, especially when Halloween comes in the middle of the week because that gives you two whole weekends to dress up and experiment with those makeup and DIY costume tutorials you’ve saved on your Pinterest boards. You are fiercely loyal and can be counted on having your friends’ backs, no matter the issue.


How’d we do? What’s your favorite book in the series and why?