Stop Censorship in the Wizarding World
This article has been censored by the Ministry of Magic for your protection.
Censorship sucks. Censorship is evil. The Ministry of Magic needs to stop censoring things. I love Harry Potter. Harry Potter is awesome. Umbridge sucks. I can’t believe that they let her teach students at Hogwarts. This is horrible. She was the worst teacher of all time. She likes to censor things. So does Fudge. He kept the Ministry of Magic and the Daily Prophet from commenting on Voldemort’s return for a whole year. Who does that? If he started implementing a plan instead of hiding from it maybe he would still be Minister of Magic.
Siriusly, what is even going on here? Like I can’t even with all of the censorship right now. They need to stop censoring everything. I want to know that Voldemort is back so I can start preparing to fight him. Don’t hide that fact from people. Why would you do that? Do you know how many lives could have been saved if Fudge tried coming up with a plan to fight him instead of hiding from the fact that Voldemort is back? He could have put protocols in place that prevented the Death Eaters from taking over the Ministry of Magic. Then maybe all of the Muggle-borns of this generation would have gotten their Hogwarts letters because their records would not have been destroyed. Siriusly man, you suck.
Censorship sucks, too. What is up with that? Why would people censor things from the public? Why is the Quibbler the only newspaper to report on Voldemort’s return? What is even up with that? Why would they do that? The Quibbler is amazing, but I really don’t think that they are experienced enough to handle this level of reporting. If I lived in England, I’d totally want to work at the Quibbler, though. I couldn’t handle all of the stuff that goes down at the Daily Prophet. No bribes for me, please. Plus, I’d get to travel to really cool places in search of magical creatures that may or may not exist. I could go to a tropical island in search of a smooth-pouched sea dragon, and if I don’t find one (which I won’t), I can just say that they are incredibly rare and hard to find. Maybe I could even get more paid time to research on the island, where of course I’d have to spend all of my time laying on a beach. Company sponsored work trip say what?
Poor Harry Potter, though. No one believes him because the Daily Prophet is reporting that he and Dumbledore are crazy instead of reporting the truth about Voldemort. Imagine if they actually were crazy, though. The whole story might just be some shared hallucination. Harry wakes up at the end of the story, and he is in a mental hospital, or he’s been in a coma for the last ten years. Maybe he died when Voldemort attacked him as a baby, and this alternate reality is just his afterlife. Woah, that is really weird to think about. So weird. If that story were true, then I bet the Ministry of Magic would totally censor it because they suck. They suck a lot. They suck so much.
So in conclusion, don’t accept censorship. Send your owls to the Ministry of Magic and the Daily Prophet office, and let them know that you will not lay down and accept the fact that they are censoring everything. This is really not cool. Don’t let them do this to you. Speak out against censorship.