I Hate My Pottermore Patronus

Whenever a new quiz comes out on Pottermore, the Potter fandom splits into factions based on whether or not they’re satisfied with the result of their quiz. I was in the “happy” camp for my Hogwarts and Ilvermorny Sortings, but I’m less than thrilled with the results of my Patronus quiz.

Maybe I built it up too much in my head. I thought I’d experience a moment of clarity like I did when I got the results of my Sorting quizzes, but I took the quiz four different times and didn’t connect with any of the animals I received. There were plenty of people who did have a connection with their Patronuses.

I got a wolf! I definitely feel that fits me since I thought that I might end up with a dog of some sort as my Patronus. A wolf feels much more ‘Slytherin’ to me, as well.” – Mary

[I got a] dragon. I jokingly said I’d want a dinosaur as a Patronus (who wouldn’t want a T-Rex stomping around after Dementors?!), and I got one that’s pretty darn close!” – Ashley

Others were uncertain when they first received their results but warmed up to their Patronuses after looking into the traits and symbolic aspects of their animal.

I like mine a lot. While I wouldn’t have picked a dog…the characteristics of the deerhound are pretty spot on. They predate recorded history, which reflects my old soul, and they have incredible energy! I would also consider myself friendly.” – Cristina

I wouldn’t have picked [a] weasel for myself, but after reading about them I have to say I’m okay with it. Weasels are stealthy, intuitive, and observant. Fitting for a Slytherin.” – Amethyst

I did some research on the pine marten, my first result, and even though I could see parts of myself in their qualities, something didn’t quite click. I really wish the quiz had included some kind of description indicating why that particular animal would be your Patronus. Obviously, writing up descriptions for all of the animals would have been an enormous task, but I think all of the background information on the Hogwarts and Ilvermorny Houses made it easier to identify with the results I received from those quizzes.

Even though a description probably would have been an abbreviated version of all the information I found online, it would be nice to see why exactly Pottermore connected my Patronus with the set of answers I chose in the quiz. I took the test three more times, getting increasingly frustrated with each result. I definitely wasn’t the only one upset with their Patronus.

Of all the possibilities in the wizarding world, Pottermore gave me a mole for my Patronus. Who do I Avada Kedavra?” – Aimee

I got a ginger cat…I’ve never really been a cat person, and I was hoping for a bird of some kind. It’s something I’m going to have to learn to embrace…” – Megan

Just like the Sorting quizzes, the Patronus quiz gave people some results that don’t quite line up with their personalities. I was relieved to read that Pottermore said that there is “no reliable system for predicting the form of an individual’s Patronus.” Professor Catullus Spangle, Charms researcher, said that the Patronus “represents that which is hidden, unknown but necessary within the personality.

If top Charms researchers can’t be certain how to predict an individual’s Patronus, there’s no way a quiz would have been able to find the hidden part of my personality. There’s much more to who I am than my instinctual response to a collection of words. The quiz had no way of picking up on my greatest fears, deepest loves, or the special associations I might have with any particular animal.

Your Patronus is supposed to be something that you feel will protect you, not something you don’t like.” – Rachael

If we were really wizards casting Patronus Charms, maybe I’d be stuck with an animal I felt no connection with. Unfortunately, we’re not. Since we don’t have real, corporeal Patronuses charging out of our wands, we get to decide what our true Patronuses would be. Stay true to who you are, and don’t let any personality quiz tell you otherwise.

Madison Ford

I’m a native Texan currently living in the Pacific Northwest with my husband and our feisty dog Ellie. I’m a poet, a reader, and I host and produce MuggleNet’s mental health Harry Potter podcast, Beyond the Veil. I love rock climbing, hiking, and searching for seashells on Oregon beaches.