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  • Features / The Daily Prophet

An Ode to My Ear

by Stephanie Bailey · December 8, 2016

I woke up this morning feeling ‘ear’itable,
Which is strange, to say the least.
I’m usually a fun, easygoing guy,
Not some rampant beast.

I had this ‘ear’y feeling,
That something was amiss.
I have never had a morning,
Where I have awoken as off as this.

I felt a little lopsided,
Like a piece of me was gone.
My mom came busting into my room,
Yelling about my curtains still being drawn.

She gave me quite the earful,
With a pillow over my head.
She walked right up to me,
And ripped the sheets off my bed.

As she walked out the door,
I heard her turn and say,
“Up and at ’em now, dear,
There will be no lounging today!”

Ugh, I remember now,
It’s family party day.
I will have to listen to them ramble,
With no chance of getting away.

I shuffle to my dresser,
And look in the mirror above.
I examine first my left side, then my right,
Looking for something to love.

And then it hits me!
Like a curse to the head.
I can survive this family party,
Without me playing dead.

How could I miss it!
It is as plain as the nose on my face!
I am missing an appendage,
There is nothing in its place!

My hearing now is lacking,
I have to keep my ear to the ground.
Despite searching high and low,
My ear was never found!

I will use my saintlike spirit,
And my devilish wit,
To survive this party,
And get my family to quit!

I’ll pretend I am hard of hearing,
Not to mention ear puns galore!
My bold joking manner,
Will have my family crying, “No more!”

The time has come, I have to go!
My family has to be all ears!
Hopefully, my punny jokes,
Don’t leave them all in tears.

I appreciate you lending me your ear,
To tell my little tale.
I hope to see you again soon,
And that your hearing will never fail!

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MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

June 2025

Mon, Jun 23

Dudley Dursley's birthday
Recurs yearly
McGonagall returns to Hogwarts
Recurs yearly

1996

Tue, Jun 24

Cedric Diggory is murdered by Lord Voldemort, who got his body back
Recurs yearly

1995

Third task of Triwizard Tournament
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1995

Thu, Jun 26

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone book
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1997

Ron tries to call Harry on the fellytone
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1993

Tolga Safer's birthday
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Neville Longbottom

Sat, Jun 28

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Did You Know

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Potter History

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