“That’s Aunt Molly for You”
‘Tis the season! Families come together for feasts and laughter… accompanied by behavioral expectations. Grandma always makes pie, your uncle will make at least three inappropriate jokes at the dinner table; after years of experience, relatives fall into categories that seemingly all families have. These are the stereotypical aunt roles I think our favorite witches would fall into.
Molly is the aunt who bakes dessert for every family function. She’s always happy to see you and refuses to let you leave without giving her a big hug. She is cordial, jolly, and oftentimes the most thoughtful gift giver at Christmas and your birthday.
Tonks is the cool aunt. She’s been Metamorphmaging in front of you since you opened your eyes, and she is always up to play a game. She loves spoiling her nieces and nephews with the toys that their parents won’t buy. When you two get into trouble together, she won’t let you go down alone, even when Grandma shows up with that look on her face.
Narcissa is the kind of aunt who tries to keep her husband on his best behavior at family functions but struggles to not act condescending herself. She’s the one who will ask how your college degree is coming along just to one-up you with whatever her child is up to (even if there’s a 20-year age gap and the tot literally just started walking).
Bellatrix is the aunt who never wanted children of her own and values her possessions more than family sentiments. She doesn’t play games, give gifts, or smile at you. She’s been holding a grudge since your first birthday when your cake-clad fingers grazed her favorite sweater and “ruined it forever.” She waited until you were old enough to understand her fury and burned the sweater in front of you on your fourth birthday.
Minerva isn’t your favorite aunt growing up but climbs through the relative ranks as you mature. She spends all of your time together challenging you mentally, physically, or philosophically. She has been preparing you for school since your second birthday, and Quidditch tryouts since your third. She pushes you to always think and act at 100% capacity. In your 20s, you realize you owe a lot of your success to her.
Sybill is the most relaxed aunt ever, or so you think. Because of her chill demeanor, your parents trusted her to babysit you once when you were six. You spent the whole night gallivanting around with her sitting docile in her chair until suddenly a premonition of your imminent death sent her into a fit when you bent down to tie your shoe. After that, she became the definition of a helicopter aunt.
Pomona is a crossover between Molly and Minerva’s aunt styles. She is always warm and welcoming, but ready to teach you about every plant you see. She is the aunt who used to read to you (using different voices for every character) until you fell asleep after dinner.
Rita is the aunt who has the fabulous lifestyle and career. She is your role model growing up, and you follow her around with a pen and paper to learn the art of journalism. Late into your teenage years, you realize that underneath her lifestyle is a plethora of unethical career practices, and you decide she may not be the woman you aspire to be after all.
Rolanda is the aunt who teaches you everything you need to know about sportsmanship. She plays every game with you by the book, and if you don’t like it, then you don’t get to play anymore. She isn’t going to sugarcoat anything she says to you because she wants you to know how the world really is. She bought your cousin a Nimbus 2000 the same year she bought you a chess set. Hint, hint.
Poppy is the aunt who is the first to help you but also the first to tell you what you did wrong. “Well, I wouldn’t have to mend your arm if you hadn’t been climbing the tree piggy-back on your cousin Robb, now would I?” When she is on “watch,” no one gets away with anything. Her signature look of disappointment always stings more than your actual injury.