You’re a Mean One, Mr. Snape
to the tune of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas
You’re a mean one,
You scare children with your stare.
You’re as smelly as a cabbage,
Right hand man to Slyth’rin’s heir,
You’re a bad professor, ugh, that greasy black hair.
You’re a monster,
You could petrify a ghost.
Your brain is full of Dark Arts,
And your mor’ls are gray at most,
I’d like to smack you with a thirty-foot Quidditch post.
You’re a vile one,
I’m glad Fluffy bit your leg.
You have all the tender sweetness of a Horntail guarding eggs,
Given the choice between the two of you,
I’d take the Horntail guarding eggs.
You’re a scoundrel,
You’re the prince of potions class.
Always sabotaging students in the hopes that they won’t pass,
Your ploys will never work on Harry, thanks to his
You nauseate me,
Like a draught of Goyle’s smell.
Your fascination with the Dark Arts caused her death the night he fell,
Your soul is C+ quality, considering the vast number of people you probably tortured and killed, plus the constant abuse of your one true love’s only child: If you want to improve, you’d need
One hell of a spell.
You’re a foul one,
And as Lily’s friend you stunk!
If you think that tor’turing Harry
Shows your love, you must be drunk,
The three words that best describe the Snape/Lily ship are as follows and I quote:
Sink, sank, sunk.
Submitted by: Madison