Sorting “The Good Place” Characters into Hogwarts Houses
Living in the UK, a lot of US television ends up on our Netflix, and when looking for my next binge-watch several months ago, I couldn’t help but feel entranced by the intriguing frozen yogurt poster advertising The Good Place. I fell hard for the strange, addictive The Good Place and marathoned the entire two seasons over a week during spring break. Although it will never replace my beloved favorite show, Gilmore Girls, I don’t think there’ll ever be a time where I don’t attempt to convince someone to delve into The Good Place. Now, as the third season of the series arrives this month, what better time could there be to Sort the main characters?
Though Eleanor has her wiser, kinder moments, she is nothing but Slytherin through and through. Green blood runs through those veins (if a heartbeat still exists in the afterlife), and if at Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat would’ve had the same reaction to Eleanor as they did to Draco Malfoy. In her life, she worked in scamming people to buy insurance and was cruel to all of those around her. In death, she is pretty similar, not owning up to the fact that she doesn’t belong in the Good Place and constantly focusing on herself and nobody else. Eleanor is rooted entirely in self-preservation, cunning, and manipulation. Regardless of her character development into someone who is kind and genuinely cares about others, her reasoning and motivation, especially in crisis situations, is always that of a true Slytherin.
Unlike Eleanor, who goes through major personality changes in the first two seasons, even with character development, Chidi always at heart truly remains the same. On the surface, Chidi has the personality of a Hufflepuff, but the reality is that he is nothing but a Ravenclaw. All his choices and judgments are based on the moral ethics and philosophy he studied in his lifetime and dedicated his career to. From a young age, Chidi is shown to be incredibly indecisive when it comes to weighing up alternative moral options, usually leading to a stomachache. Even though he’s kind and generous, the deep thinking in his logic and every move are indicative of an incredibly anxious Ravenclaw.
Like Eleanor, there was only ever one option for Tahani, and that’s down in the dungeons of Slytherin. Throughout her lifetime, Tahani achieved numerous accolades for charity work and helping others, which seems rather generous until one sinks deeper into her reasoning: being better than her famous sister. Nothing Tahani ever did was because of genuine passion for the causes she supported, but entirely for appearances and looking better than her sibling – the true nature of a Slytherin. With her character, it is undeniable that it doesn’t matter what she did but why she did it. Even in the afterlife, Tahani is fixated on being successful on the basis of looking better than everyone else.
Hufflepuff. If Jason isn’t in Hufflepuff, then Neville Longbottom isn’t a Gryffindor.
Once again, The Good Place is graced with another master manipulator. Though Michael seems caring, he spends an entire season manipulating Eleanor, Tahani, Chidi, and Jason, for his own gain, and when that fails, he chooses to repeatedly torture them with their worst nightmares. Even if Michael does change, the fact is that he is always trying to manipulate or lie to somebody, whether it’s the four arrivals in the Good Place, or his boss at the demonic center for creating hellish afterlives.
An all-knowing being and stolen robot, Janet can understandably be interpreted as a Ravenclaw, but the fact is that she could only ever be in Slytherin. In the real Good Place, her mission is to help others, with no reasoning other than kindness. As she becomes more human and develops as a humanlike robot, her nature is increasingly loving, gentle, and dedicated to making others happy. Truthfully, Janet could only ever belong in Hufflepuff.