Eight “Harry Potter” Women Who Fearlessly Take Charge of Their Love Lives

However much we may love our Harry Potter men, there’s no use denying that they are terrible at romance. The women are always the ones who have to do the heavy lifting in order to start any romantic relationship. Here’s an homage to eight strong, brave women who are willing to take emotional risks (often more than once before they succeed) for the sake of the relationships they want.


1. Ginny Weasley

By the time she’s 11 years old, Ginny Weasley is already prepared to put herself out there and express her feelings to her crush. She writes a singing Valentine’s Day poem, which Harry literally runs away from. By the time Harry is in his sixth year, he’s no longer running, but he doesn’t make any effort to ask Ginny out either. It’s Ginny who runs at Harry and flings herself into his arms, even though she knows she’s being watched by her overprotective brother, her ex-boyfriend, and at least 50 other people. Without Ginny’s efforts, would this couple have ever gotten married?




2. Cho Chang

If Harry is bad at asking people out in his sixth year, he’s even worse as a 15-year-old. There’s no way that Harry would have kissed Cho if she hadn’t approached him under the mistletoe, and it’s hard to forget how Cho literally hand-fed him an invitation to go out with her.

‘Yes, [the Hogsmeade weekend is] on Valentine’s Day…’

‘Right,’ said Harry, wondering why she was telling him this. ‘Well, I suppose you want to – ?’

‘Only if you do,’ she said eagerly.

Harry stared. He had been about to say, ‘I suppose you want to know when the next D.A. meeting is?’ but her response did not seem to fit.” (OoTP 528)




3. Hermione Granger

Ron is even worse than Harry at coming to terms with his feelings and taking action. In their fourth year, Hermione clearly tells Ron that he either needs to ask her out or stop sulking when other people do. Even so, Ron doesn’t take action. When Hermione asks him out herself in their sixth year, Ron freaks and starts dating Lavender instead. Even though Ron clearly wants to date Hermione throughout Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, he never makes a move, and it’s Hermione who finally runs at Ron and kisses him.




4. Lavender Brown

Although many of us don’t like Lavender for the role she plays in pushing Ron and Hermione apart, there’s no denying that she knows what she wants and goes for it. From the moment they get back to Hogwarts sixth year, Lavender starts flirting with Ron. Although we don’t know exactly how Ron and Lavender start snogging in the post-match celebration, I can pretty much guarantee that Ron didn’t initiate it. Lavender also takes charge of ending her relationship too, breaking up with Ron when she realizes he’s interested in Hermione instead.




5. Nymphadora Tonks

Tonks is far older than the other women in this post, and she therefore doesn’t bother with the little tricks and games that teenagers rely on to get their crushes’ attention. She tells Lupin point-blank that she loves him and wants to be with him and continues to do so even though he is too scared to act on his feelings. A lot more is at stake in this relationship than in any of the other ones, but Tonks is not afraid of the danger she might put herself in if she marries a werewolf.




6, 7, & 8. Potential Yule Ball Dates

Last but not least, the three anonymous women who ask Harry out to the Yule Ball. Cheers to you for having the courage to ask out the most famous boy in the school! Considering Harry waits until the absolute last minute to ask out his crush, you have to give these girls some credit.

A curly-haired third-year Hufflepuff girl to whom Harry had never spoken to in his life asked him to go to the ball with her the very next day. Harry was so taken aback he said no before he’d even stopped to consider the matter. […] The following day, two more girls asked him, a second year and (to his horror) a fifth year who looked as though she might knock him out if he refused.” (GoF 389)


These eight young women inspire all girls reading the Harry Potter series to upend expectations that men have to make the first move and to go out and take charge of their own love lives. As Valentine’s Day approaches, just remember Cho convincing Harry to take her on a date to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop!

Sophia Jenkins

My name is Sophia and I’m a Hufflepuff living with my pet pig in New York City. On a daily basis I like to channel my inner Luna Lovegood by reading Harry Potter analysis books (upside down, of course) while wearing my large collection of miniature food earrings. When my best friends get tired of me bringing every conversation back to Harry Potter I sit down at my computer to share my obsession with the readers of MuggleNet.