“Harry Potter” Characters as “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Songs – Part 3

We did Hogwarts students, we did adults of the wizarding world, and now the final installment of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend/Harry Potter crossovers is for duets, group numbers, and songs that otherwise involve or apply to multiple people. Relationships of all kinds are so important to the character development in both series, and sometimes a great musical number needs a partner or a very particular audience to serenade.




Defense Against the Dark Arts Professors – “Who’s the New Guy?”

The students of Hogwarts never know what they’re in for when a new DADA teacher arrives. Will it be Voldemort’s face on the back of someone else’s head? A fraud? A werewolf? An impostor? A Ministry plant? A Death Eater? There is good reason to have trust issues.




Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort – “Nothing Is Ever Anyone’s Fault”

The Dark Lord and his right-hand man – two half-bloods who grew up without love – could duet on this song about escaping culpability for their actions. Snape is still blaming his high school bullies for his bad behavior. “We’re all just products of childhood trauma” is certainly an excuse he would use. “It’s hard to paint people with evil or glory when you know that everyone’s got a tragic backstory” – Tom Riddle’s involves growing up in an orphanage and Snape’s centers on being humiliated at school. We can understand them more, but it’s still pretty easy to see how blood supremacy is not an acceptable avenue, no matter how rough your past was.




Molly, Fred, and George Weasley – “I’ve Always Never Believed in You”

Paula sings this song to her son, explaining that she didn’t expect much from him and is pleasantly surprised at the mature young man he’s become. Molly has to admit she’s impressed that the twins managed to become successful inventors and entrepreneurs rather than Azkaban cellmates.




Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger – “Duh!”

The ship with anvil-sized hints indeed! It was obvious all along – they just needed the right moment to realize it.




Ron Weasley and Harry Potter – “You Go First”

Ron and Harry are so stubborn about apologizing! This song applies perfectly to the quarreling friends after Harry is selected as Triwizard champion and Ron is bitter, but neither will pluck up the nerve to make up.




James and Lily Potter – “Dream Ghost”

Unfortunately, Harry’s parents can only give advice and support from beyond the grave. But they do it at pretty important times, like when Harry faces Voldemort in the Little Hangleton graveyard and when he uses the Resurrection Stone before facing Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest. Unlike Rebecca’s Dream Ghost in the form of her therapist, Dr. Akopian, James and Lily are indeed “actually magic.”




Remus Lupin and Sirius Black – “The Group Mind Has Decided You’re in Love”

This can apply to any headcanon ship, but Remus and Sirius – also known as Wolfstar – is one of the most popular and plausible, and thus has united the group mind of fandom more than many other ships.




That’s all for this series – and unfortunately, for the incredible series that was Crazy Ex-Girlfriend as well! Hopefully, Rachel Bloom continues to insert her love for Harry Potter into her work.

Laurie Beckoff

My Harry Potter journey began in 2000 when I was six and continued through a bachelor's thesis and master's dissertation on medievalism in the series. I'm a Gryffindor from New York City with a passion for theatre, fantasy, Arthurian legend, and science fiction.