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  • Song Parodies

Wizard Boy

by Sana Nawaz · May 29, 2023

to the tune of “Big Boy” by SZA

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And all the girls are
Leaving to get a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

I need a wizard boy with emerald orbs
Brave enough to face the Dark Lord
With a broomstick in hand
He’s quick on his feet
He’ll save the day and make my heart beat

Till my next seven lives
I need a wizard hottie
Makes his own spells with his wizarding body
For their next seven lives
Death Eaters are dead
Forget the Slytherins
I need a Gryffindor instead

Wizard boy with a wand in his hand
A lightning bolt tattooed on his forehead like a brand
With potions and charms on,
Potions and charms on, potions and charms
Fighting off Dementors with a Patronus Charm

Need a magical man
With a magical name
Serves me butterbeer with his magical hands
And I hope he asks me
To be his wizarding-wife
‘Cause gettin’ with a wizard boy
Will change your life

It’s Quidditch season
And all the witches be leaving
To catch a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Chase you like a Snitch boy

It’s Quidditch season
And all the witches be leaving
To catch a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy

I need a Seeker with a lightning scar
Who flies so fast he could catch a falling star
The Quidditch pitch is cold and I’m shivering
But with my wizard boy by my side, I’m never quivering

Till the Snitch is caught
I need a wizarding hottie
Who’ll hold me close and never make me worry
About the Bludgers flying in the air
Forget those other guys
I need my wizarding boy instead

Wizard boy with a Snitch in his hand
A Firebolt, glasses on, he is one kind of a man
With potions and charms on,
Potions and charms on, potions and charms
Fighting off Voldemort with an Expelliarmus

Need a magical man
With a magical name
Serves me treacle tart with his magical hands
And I hope he asks me
To be his wizarding-wife
‘Cause gettin’ with a wizard boy
Will change your life

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And all the girls are
Leaving to get a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

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Important Dates

July 2025

Sat, Jul 12

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (UK)
Recurs yearly

2007

Harry and Dumbledore travel to get Slughorn
Recurs yearly

1996

Harry officially learns he inherited Grimmauld Place and Kreacher
Recurs yearly

1996

Sun, Jul 13

OWL results arrive at the Burrow
Recurs yearly

1996

Tue, Jul 15

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 movie
Recurs yearly

2011

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie
Recurs yearly

2009

WWoHP at Universal Japan's anniversary
Recurs yearly

2014

Wed, Jul 16

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book
Recurs yearly

2005

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