Gilderoy Lockhart on How to Change The World
Hello, dear readers! I, the famed and immensely skilled, Gilderoy Lockhart, am here to teach you the secrets of world-changing action. Having mastered the realm of wizardry and blessed the world with my charm, it is only appropriate that I offer my unrivaled expertise in activism.
Perfect Your Selfie Game
Every great activist understands that changing the world starts with a fantastic selfie. Make sure you are perfectly groomed, your hair is immaculate, and your grin is as white as a ghost. Why bother saving the world if you do not look amazing doing it?
Self-Promotion, Self-Promotion, Self-Promotion!
Unless you constantly market yourself, your quest to alter the world will stay obscure. Share your every move on social media, preferably with professional photos of your heroic exploits. It is not so much about the cause as it is about how nice you look championing it.
Never Miss an Opportunity for a Book Deal
Activism is an excellent platform for your best-selling memoirs. Document your courageous adventures, adding a little flair if necessary. Secure that lucrative book deal and collect royalties while appearing unselfish and altruistic.
Make Use of Your Fan Club
Create a swarm of devoted followers. Use their zeal to raise donations for your cause. Encourage them to buy your stuff, and do not forget to mention your Venmo account if you want them to donate directly. It is Lockhart philanthropy.
Trademark Your Name and Slogan
You would not want someone else to take your thunder, would you? Trademark your name and phrase to ensure that all recognition and acclaim come back to you. Plus, you may make a pretty galleon by licensing your brand!
Start a Charity in Your Name
Create a charity dedicated to continuing the life-changing work you’ve been doing. Of course, your name should be prominently included in the charity’s title for optimum visibility. Do you not think the Gilderoy Lockhart Foundation has a lovely ring to it?
Delegate the Actual Work
Changing the world takes too much time for a true luminary like yourself. Delegate the grunt labor to others, ensuring you are only involved in the glamorous portions. Remember that you are the face of the movement, not the one pushing for change.
In conclusion, dear readers, my foolproof method will certainly transform you into a world-changing superstar. Just remember to keep the spotlight on yourself, for the world should be grateful to bask in your wonderful glow. Onward to fame and false generosity!