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  • The Dirigible Plum / The Quibbler

ATTN: Minister Granger, Read This ASAP

by Athan · March 30, 2023

Dear Minister of Magic Hermione Granger:

We, the distinguished members of the Broom Regulation Organization of Marylebone (BROoM), write this letter to the current Minister of Magic regarding the long-neglected need for broom regulation legislation. Aside from the regulation of broom manufacturers (i.e. Nimbus Racing Broom Company, Comet Trading Company, Ellerby and Spudmore, and many more) by the Department of Magical Transportation, there is no legislation that regulates broom travel. This is why BROoM has graciously taken the liberty and time out of our busy schedules to develop a few protocols that will serve as excellent pillars for the legislation and much-needed expansion of the Department of Magical Transportation. We thank you in advance for considering our proposal.

 

Source

 

BROoM comprises the most elite members of the Marylebone community. We are an eclectic, forward-thinking group of parents and adults who want nothing more than a safer and more organized sky. Some of our members grew up in the Muggle world, where they participated in a course that they referred to as “driver’s education” or “driver’s ed” (for those who simply don’t have the time for the full word). Upon completion of this driver’s education, the students obtain a “driver’s license.” Similar to our Apparition license, their driver’s license communicates to Muggles of authority that they have been properly educated on driving a vehicle. We’ve combined and adapted the rudimentary structure of Muggle driver’s education with our dynamic Apparition training into our very own Flier’s Learning Operations Program (F.L.O.P.), where students will learn how to fly and not “flop.”

 

Source

 

We believe it is absolutely imperative that our young witches and wizards are taught not only how to properly fly on a broom but also how to occupy the sky and obey safety (and legal) regulations. We appreciate the attempt of Hogwarts’ Broom Flight Class that teaches first-year students the ways of a broom at such a young age. However, it is not enough to allow our community members the free reign of the sky.

We propose that come a student’s fourth year at Hogwarts, they will be allowed to enroll in F.L.O.P. to obtain their flier’s license. The course would be two terms to ensure the lessons are fully ingrained into our adolescents’ brains. The first term would be purely bookwork and traditional classroom studies, which we know the students will hate. But their reward for surviving the F.L.O.P. classroom will be their second term, which will be spent in the air on brooms. By the end of their fourth year, they will take a written and flying exam administered by the Department of Magical Transportation. Of course, the student must pass both exams to obtain their flier’s license.

 

Source

 

Along with a structure for obtaining the right to fly, there will be an accountability and infraction structure as well. We propose that a branch of flying regulators be created within the Department of Magical Transportation. Fliers that disobey the rules, laws, and regulations of flying will be written an infraction by members of this new branch. The severity of the infraction will determine the outcome. If it is a minor infraction — such as when poor Dolly Hopkins flew below regulation altitude and made the Muggle news — the punishment will be a fee for a certain amount of Galleons. If the infraction is more severe, like the tragic incident of Arnold Brumbomb flying while intoxicated and crashing his vintage Nimbus into The Shard in London, there will be an immediate suspension of the flier’s license and a court date set with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Additionally, there will be a court date set with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement if a flier refuses to pay a fee or if they habitually obtain minor infractions.

 

Source

 

We believe that proper education, studying, and examination provided by F.L.O.P. will result in a safer sky for people of all ages. It will give all young witches and wizards a standardized and factual introduction to the serious privilege of traveling by broom. Similarly, we believe having a committee or branch of flying regulators will help keep the skies, the magical world, and one another safe.

BROoM would gladly work with the Ministry of Magic, the Department of Magical Transportation, and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in the development and implementation of this legislation and these initiatives. We have a vast amount of research, proposals, signatures, requests, and other ideas on how to expand the department. Please reach out to us via owl to coordinate a meeting, or if you wish to make a physical appearance at our bi-weekly meeting, we’ll be at Fischer’s Viennese Café in Marylebone at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 29.

Yours Most Sincerely,
Broom Regulation Organization of Marylebone

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