Gryffindor Tower #2: Fighting the “Critics”

These are taken from the page of funny emails:

whY don/t u do us all a favor and die cuase hary potter is ***.go smoke some floo powder U friggin fairy.


HOw DARE you compare one of the best pieces of litature to a little kids movie, and devote a whole website to it? ok there may be some things alike between the lord of the rings and harry potter but thats because the writers of harry potter ripped some things off. the lord of the rings isn’t just a fantasy it also has meaning and depth too, unlike the kiddie movie harry potter. i mean come what the hell is your problem? honsetly all that harry potter is a piece of crap that is a lord the rings rip off. so i must request that you take down this site and maybe actuly look for the meaning behind the lord of the rings and not just the stuff that appels to little kids.

Wow. When I first got this column, I thought about naming it “The Whomping Willow”, but I assumed I wouldn’t be bashing too many things, so I settled on “Gryffindor Tower.” However, I guess I’ll be living up to the former in this.

First and foremost, and this is a personal thing, I hate people who cannot write a three-line email without making it sound like they’ve never stepped foot in a school before. I cannot stand to see so many stupid mistakes in what should be easy for these people. If you use the word “friggin” in everyday life, you should be old enough to write a single sentence correctly. As far as the second email, please, learn how to spell. Come on…we’re not talking about hard words here, either…literature? Appeals? Actually? You simply amaze me.

Now to get into my real arguments. The first email I will refer to as the “Fairy” email. For someone to say that Harry Potter is ***, and tell the webmaster of this site to die, one would assume that the accuser has never given Harry Potter a chance. Truthfully, that is fine by me. To each his own. However, most people I know who bash on Harry Potter would most definitely not know what Floo Powder is, for the mere fact that they would have given up after the first book and/or first movie. So, my friend, do not go running your mouth. Telling someone to die? Have you lost your stupid little mind? If you don’t like this site…and this idea may shock you…DON’T READ IT. Don’t email any of us, don’t waste your time making up stupid phrases like “go smoke some Floo Powder”, just leave.

Now, the second email. You first complain that MuggleNet has compared one of the “best pieces of literature” to a kids’ movie. MuggleNet, in no way, compared LOTR to a kids’ movie. They compared it to a book series. And if I’m not mistaken, Harry Potter (by the simple numbers the book has drawn) is more popular than Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings aren’t nearly as popular in literary form as they are in movie form. Maybe to you they are, and I’m sure to many others, but to mainstream society, the fame that Lord of the Rings has garnered is intrinsic of the LOTR movies, not the books. Harry Potter, however, will always be a great story with a paralleled movie. The great buzz right now is over the Lord of the Rings movies, not the books. The buzz around Harry Potter is still centered on the books. Second, you say that the writers of Harry Potter ripped off LOTR. How do you support this claim? The writers of Harry Potter (and I must assume you mean the movie, since you called it a kids movie, not a book) used only one source: J.K. Rowling’s books. They did not sit around and study LOTR to “rip off” that franchise. Third, you say that LOTR has meaning and depth. I venture to guess that you have never read the Harry Potter books (all of them, mind you). I have studied literature for years, from poetry to prose, fiction and nonfiction, and I can tell you with great assurance and confidence that the Harry Potter books have as much meaning and depth as any stories out there. To almost quote you, “HARRY POTTER isn’t just a fantasy, it also has meaning and depth.” Call The Sorcerer’s Stone a “kiddie movie”, if you will, but you are gravely mistaken. Harry Potter transcends age (as I have said many times before), and to say that it only appeals to kids makes you seem to be less educated than the youngest people who have read these magnificent books. You request that we take down this site? I request that you take down your stereotypes, and find the meaning in the Harry Potter books that we have already discovered.

You know, it’s so hard to stay mature and civil, and I think now is a good time for me to break that habit for a moment. Here is my letter response to these two emails, written in the same style:

Dear Idiots,HOw dare you talk about Harry Potter like that? You ovusly don’t know what you’re talking about. come here and rip on us if ya want, maybe you should just take your pansy Lord of the Rings ases back to your *** little friends. I think you smoked too much floo powder yourselves, because Harry Poter is not ***, you’re ***. you’re both just big ***heads. So go be ***, you *** losers. *** *** *** ***, friggin ***.


One Sarcastic MuggleNet Lover and Harry Potter Fanatic

Wow. That was fun. Can I have some more Floo Powder?