Who Wore It Better: Gilderoy Lockhart or Michael Jackson?
Greetings, magical world! Gilderoy Lockhart here with your latest dose of “Who Wore It Better.” As you all know, I embarked on this great journey with Witch Weekly a few months ago. I have to say, I knew it would be a success, but all of your beautiful responses have really exceeded all of my expectations. I was at the parlor getting my hair a trim since it needed to be perfect for my appearance at the Junior Magical Miss Great Britain pageant. While seated in the chair, the witch who was giving my hair its much-needed attention kept stealing glances at my face in the mirror. No doubt she was hoping to catch a glimpse of my award-winning smile. I obliged and told her smiles and autographs are always graciously given, and she needn’t feel embarrassed asking for either. It turns out she is a massive fan of my column and reads it religiously each month. She says she has written in several times to give her opinion on each matchup (she always agrees wholeheartedly with my assessment), and she calls her friends after the latest issue of Witch Weekly hits stands to discuss my words. So this one is for you, Hazel. Keep reading, and keep up the wonderful work you do in keeping us public figures looking fabulous. Now, let’s give you lovely readers more to talk about with our next pairing.
In the past, I have been told I cannot choose myself as the winner if I am not part of the comparison, so I have remedied that by pairing myself up against Muggle entertainer Michael Jackson. They tell me he’s the King. I’m not completely sure how that works since America doesn’t have a king, but all the same, I see royalty as a very worthy opponent indeed. Both the King and myself have opted for a look that heralds back to the days of gallantry and swordsmanship. We have both taken certain freedoms with embellishing this glorious style choice. I added a cape, slung fetchingly over half my body, while Jackson decided to bedazzle himself and add a little extra sparkle to his attire. I do envy the beautiful piping on the breast of Jackson’s clothing, but I think my more understated and sophisticated approach gives me an upper hand. Even though the King is clearly a brilliant man who knows how to wear a divine jacket, I don’t think there is really much point in me analyzing this pairing any more than I already have. I know you’ll all agree that I wore it better. It’s not that he isn’t exquisitely dressed; it’s just that fashion, among many other things, is one of my most skilled areas. As a public figure who has garnered as much fame as I have, it only makes sense that I would be much more adept than anyone else at knowing how to dress for the cameras and my public. Until next time, my magical readers. Remember to always stay radiant!
Order of Merlin (Third Class)
Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League
Five-Time Winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award
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