Skip to content

MuggleNet

  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Features / The Daily Prophet

Why Hagrid Is Terrible at Adulting

by Joshua Hansen · May 25, 2017

Rubeus Hagrid: Lovable half-giant with a heart bigger than a large baby goat. Or that’s what we all thought… back in March, we scrutinized Dumbledore’s questionable actions. Now it’s time to shed light on the abominable misgivings of Hogwarts’ gamekeeper.

 

 

At first glance, nothing seems terribly off. Sure, Hagrid may be a bit clumsy at times, and he does have the occasional slip of critical information. “But surely,” you’re likely saying, “that can’t be enough to paint our favorite beard attached to a body as a villain!”

I strongly beg to differ. Sure, at the surface all may seem well, but it doesn’t take much digging to figure out what’s wrong with this picture. I present to you Exhibit A: Hagrid’s obsession with all things deadly.

 

 

Some might push aside ‘Agrid’s fascination with fantastically dangerous beasts and how to hide them as a harmless quirk. But if they were to push aside their unconditional affection, they’d realize that it’s more than just an idiosyncrasy. I believe there is a fine line between a hobby and a recurring action that only luck could prevent from causing mass death and hysteria. I also believe that line is Hagrid.

It started with a harmless spider as a pet. Except it wasn’t just a spider; it was a soon-to-be behemoth with a craving for human flesh. Even though Aragog, king of the arachnids, wasn’t the Chamber of Secrets’s monster, Hagrid’s possession of him warranted his expulsion from school.

 

http://dutchbookchick.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/5.-Not-to-mention-the-pincers.gif

Source

 

The list doesn’t end there, though. No, no, that’s just the beginning. Norbert(a), Fluffy, Buckbeak (along with his other hippogriff friends), and a herd of Thestrals round out an incomplete list of Rubeus’s pets.

Now, if this isn’t enough to convince you, Hagrid’s treatment of the golden trio should do the job. As you’ve likely been throughout this whole piece, I imagine you’re skeptical. But hear me out. It’s one thing to be especially friendly to a few students. But it’s another thing entirely to be close enough that you’d spill extremely classified information to said students, accidentally or otherwise. If not for his hints about following certain eight-legged creatures, or his general lack of care in Book 1, Harry and the gang may have been saved a lot of trouble.

 

Source

 

All in all, Hagrid may not be terrible at heart, but he is undoubtedly not the best at the thing we call being an adult. He also gave Dudley a pig tail, which is blatantly just rude.

Social:

  • Next story Coming Home: MISTI-Con 2017
  • Previous story Where in the World Is David Thewlis?

MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

May 2025

Fri, May 9

Charlie's friends take Norbert(a)
Recurs yearly

1992
Approximate. Exact date unknown.

Sat, May 10

Gryffindor wins Quidditch Cup; Harry and Ginny first kiss
Recurs yearly

1997

Harry, Hermione, and Neville lose 150 house points
Recurs yearly

1992
Approximate. Exact date unknown.

Mon, May 12

Domhnall Gleeson's birthday
Recurs yearly

Bill Weasley (DH1, DH2)

Tue, May 13

Robert Pattinson's birthday
Recurs yearly

Cedric Diggory

Samantha Morton's birthday
Recurs yearly

Mary Lou Barebone

Zoë Wanamaker's birthday
Recurs yearly

Madam Hooch

Thu, May 15

Pomona Sprout's birthday
Recurs yearly

MuggleNet podcasts are sponsored in part by Secretlab.

Thanks to its research-backed ergonomic design, including a proprietary 4-way adaptive lumbar support system, the Secretlab TITAN Evo Harry Potter Edition will comfortably support you even when you’re up to no good.

Did You Know

Remus Lupin’s condition of lycanthropy is a metaphor for AIDS.

Potter History

December 21, 2006 – The title for the final book is released: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Potter Quote

“I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!”

MuggleNet is an unofficial Harry Potter fansite.
Please email us if you have any questions or concerns.
© 1999–2025 MuggleNet.com. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy | COPPA Policy | Terms of Use | Feedback


MuggleNet is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and Bookshop.org's affiliate program, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and bookshop.org.