“Harry Potter” Characters and Their M.O. on Valentine’s Day
It’s February 14. Thousands of flowers, candies, and cards are making their way around the world from hopeful (or hopeless) romantics in love.
However you celebrate (or don’t celebrate!) the day of love, we have compiled a list of Harry Potter characters and how they would (or wouldn’t) celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Happy Valentine’s Day from MuggleNet!
“Valentine’s Day? What’s that then?” is the most likely response from this dude. He’d ask it while simultaneously shoving bacon and eggs in his mouth – romantic.
She would say Valentine’s Day is just a day for corporate companies to make money on useless and wasteful tokens, but then she’d be quietly upset when Ron didn’t get her anything.
He’d be late to the party, frantically buying roses, chocolates, and jewelry at the last minute. He’d take you on a nighttime broomstick ride but forget to tell you to bring a jacket. He would also give Hermione a card (the next day) after hearing her moan about Ron’s inability to be remotely romantic.
Fred and George
It’s 50/50 on whether they would actually participate or just prank you. Either way, their “gifts” would get your heart racing.
He would send you a card that reads: “Dear Y/N, I find you an acceptable partner, so please accept this card as me offering my good self as a potential boyfriend.” There would also be a return slip to fill out and send back to him acknowledging that you had read and agreed to these terms.
Charlie would show you all his beloved dragons, and then his favorite dragon, if you know what I mean.
She has no time for Valentine’s Day and is too busy getting cards from every boy in her year.
He would try to snog you in the hallway and be pouty if you didn’t like it.
That’s Professor McGonagall to you. She would give you a swift raised eyebrow and a detention for asking her if she would be giving/receiving Valentine’s Day cards.
The man of mystery would give ten points to Gryffindor! And then he’d give some to your House, whatever that may be.
Ugh… this guy. He would probably let you sit next to him? Get your Dark Mark colored in red? Let you babysit Nagini? I’m honestly grasping at straws here…
From her, you’d get absolutely nothing. She would be too busy salivating over Voldemort and hexing anyone who got in her way.
His priority: gold, gold, and more gold – everything money could buy, but with no thought as to if it fits or you like it.
She would change her hair to pink, turn her nose into the shape of a love heart, and trip over everything when you are near.
Arthur and Molly
Arthur would forget, then wonder why Molly had cooked a four-course meal followed by strawberries and dipping chocolate. He would be equally confused as to why she insisted on hand feeding him said strawberries, but he is such a stand-up guy that he would go along with it.
This man would invite you round to Grimmauld Place (most likely since he is under house arrest). Upon arrival, you would find dinner, flowers, and lots of wine. He would also play music throughout the evening, starting with Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” as a not-so-subtle hint.
Snape, much like Bellatrix, would also do nothing. He would sit moodily around his office, pining over Lily.
She would read you your fortune, which would include you and her and a sensuous cup of tea.
He doesn’t need gifts, flowers, poems, or anything else. He’s pure charm by himself.
Subtlety is this man’s middle name. Remus would sensibly bring you flowers (nothing too expensive) and perhaps a book he liked, hoping it would subtly clue you in on his feelings.
He would read you a poem, cry halfway through, and then gift you a new pet: a baby manticore.
She would make matching “his and hers” scarves to wear all day and squeal with delight whenever you are around.
Luna believes Saint Valentine was actually a Veela whose goal was to seduce couples and concubines into her harem to eat them. Luna vehemently protests Valentine’s Day.
He would break into your house and prepare you supper, only to have it blow up in his face, ruining your kitchen.
This guy would sit next to you, be silent for what feels like an eternity, and then nudge you with his elbow and mutter, “So how about it then?”
Dobby would offer to clean your room for free and leave you multiple socks with love hearts and the words “Friends (… with benefits?)”
He would “buy” a replacement necklace for the one you “lost” ages ago (the last time he was at your house).
A man of simple tastes, his idea of a romantic evening includes: a pub dinner, shared dessert, and then a fumble in the bushes.