Sorting “New Girl” Characters into Hogwarts Houses
“Who’s that girl? ” If you are not familiar, New Girl is an American television series that ran on Fox from 2011-2018. Best known for its incredibly “adorkable” ensemble cast, the show follows roommates Jess, Nick, Winston, and Schmidt (and a slew of delightful supporting characters) as they navigate the highs and lows of their thirties.
Much like the Marauders or our favorite trio, New Girl illustrates the importance of friends as a chosen family. From bad breakups to intricate pranks, Jess and her friends support each other through it all. Harry Potter fans can delight in the chemistry between each of the characters while binging the series in its entirety (146 episodes) on Netflix.
The show’s theme song repeatedly asks, “Who’s that girl?” which begs the follow-up question… Which of the four Hogwarts Houses does she belong to? Here’s how I would Sort a few of the characters from New Girl.
There are a few reasons Winston is a true Hufflepuff. Lacking natural talent in most areas, including puzzles, pranks, and nearly all of his police duties, Winston relies on hard work and fair play to succeed. One thing he truly excels at is his effortless Hufflepuff loyalty. Winston throws himself wholeheartedly into his friendships. He is exceedingly reliable and never judgmental (See: helping Schmidt illegally capture an endangered fish).
Aly is the perfect complement to Winston and an obvious choice for Gryffindor. Like fellow Gryffindor Ginny Weasley, Aly is strong, independent, and accustomed to dealing with a certain level of nonsense. As a female police officer often surrounded by men, Aly has no choice but to be the tough force of a woman that she is. As Winston’s partner, she is loving and understanding of his often absurd antics. He is the jar-man and she is most definitely the squisher.
All daring, Nick’s alter-ego, Julius Pepperwood, is a full-fledged Gryffindor. Ex-cop, ex-marine, and Chicago native, Pepperwood throws himself into dangerous situations without thinking. He is hot-tempered and exceedingly brave. Much like the late Gryffindor, Sirius Black, Pepperwood is always up for a fight, even if it’s not the wise choice.
If you looked up the definition of a Slytherin in “Hogwarts: A History,” you would find a picture of Coach. Bursting with ambition, Coach finds every opportunity to be the best. In his time on the show, he works tirelessly to be the best basketball coach, health teacher, birthday party planner, and email writer. Raised as an army brat, Coach values efficiency and success above almost everything. The one exception to the rule is, of course, his loved ones. Much like fellow Slytherins Narcissa Malfoy and Severus Snape, he cherishes his loved ones above all else.
CeCe’s ambition helped her turn a small-time modeling gig into a full-fledged modeling management agency. While I, the Sorting Hat, would like to place her in Slytherin, CeCe would ask to be Sorted into Hufflepuff. Fiercely loyal, CeCe would rather spend time doing another classic Winston-and-CeCe-mess-around.
“Nick Miller, Nick Miller from the streets of Chicago.” Nick is the kind of guy who will stand up for his friends at all costs. While he is famous for his laziness, Nick is also known for his impulsivity, his loyalty, and his pure love for Jessica Day. We see his daring nature frequently – first when he serenades Jess after her date stands her up in the pilot, and then in nearly every episode since. Furthermore, as the real master of pranks in the group, Nick gives off pure Weasley twins energy. It feels like an obvious choice… better be Gryffindor!
Jess is a person who values curiosity and knowledge, two well-known tenets of Ravenclaw. She is the know-it-all of the group, but she is also a dutiful and generous teacher. She takes pride in teaching every type of student, from a handbell ensemble to an adult creative writing class; Jess imparts knowledge and free-thinking wherever she can. However, what seals her fate is her creativity and individuality. Jess is a confident oddball who doesn’t care what anybody else thinks, not unlike the strange and charming Luna Lovegood.