What Your Wand Says About You – Part 1

Featured image by stormysea.

The wand chooses the wizard. But why? What is it about you that your wand “chooses”? At the Quibbler, you might be surprised to know that we are rather fond of star signs and often use astrology to help make decisions in a lot of our processes. (Don’t bother applying to work here if you are a Virgo.*) So when we overheard one of our staff writers say that he never dates anyone with a dogwood wand, it got us thinking: What do the qualities of your wand say about you?



There are four main components of a wand: its wood, its flexibility, its core, and its length. We figured that the length has not much to do with anything as it isn’t the size that matters, it’s what you do with your wand that counts. Likewise, the flexibility of your wand doesn’t tell us too much except how likely you are to throw a tantrum if your plans are altered. Don’t, for example, change a meeting time last minute with someone owning a wand of brittle flexibility.

However, wood and (to a lesser extent) core are fascinating. So after careful (read: rushed) research and vigorous (read: half-arsed) personality analysis, we have compiled a thorough list of attributes and character traits based on the makeup of your wand.


The Quibbler’s Official** Wand Signs

For the wielder of holly, pear, rowan, and willow wands, you are likely warm-hearted, protective, and always carry a packet of band-aids with you. You also like long walks on the beach, a nice pair of slacks, and the movie Anchorman. Though you are popular to a fault, if your wand core contains unicorn tail hair, you have some hidden insecurities and likely an irrational fear of buttons. Watch out for rain on Tuesday.



Elm, sycamore, redwood, and red oak wand carriers, you have a presence! Especially if paired with a dragon heartstring core. You are often quoted as having charisma, but the word “insufferable” is also commonly used to describe some of your personality traits. Wizards who have these wands with phoenix feather cores are rarely accident-prone and take great care of their appearance. Beware of becoming bored next Friday.

An acacia, ash, aspen, blackthorn, elder, hawthorn, or yew wand wood, you are very intelligent no matter what type of core you have. However, you often use sarcasm to mask your own feelings of inadequacy, and your favorite phrase is “you should have listened to me earlier.” A stubborn individual, you are unlikely to back down in an argument, but you are usually right. You may be thinking of a career as a revolutionary – and you should – as there is rarely a wizard who can match your big brain. Don’t forget to speak slowly to the rest of us though as we won’t understand your cognitive prowess, and beware of criminal urges around July.

A cedar, apple, beech, laurel, larch, maple, poplar, or vine wand carrier, you have an unshakable moral compass. You are strong, clear, confident, and (usually) always have a gym membership. You are a high achiever and likely have hidden depths. However, you can be described as a goody two-shoes and are not always the life of the party. Note the individual at your work/school who could do with a cheering smile this week, and for wizards with a dragon or unicorn core, avoid politicians at all costs.



To be continued…

*Our editor would like us to add that please do apply to work at the Quibbler if you are a Virgo because we can’t legally stop you.

**This is not official. We do not claim any of our assumptions about your character or personality are true nor do we claim that our predictions about your future will be correct. Let us know if they work though. That will help in any future court cases.


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