Ten Fictional Characters Equally Qualified to Teach Defense Against the Dark Arts

We all know that Albus Dumbledore knows how to hire quality mentors to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. I mean, who better to learn from than someone who uses the Dark Arts every day? While thinking on this topic, I started thinking about all the other fictional characters across various fandoms that would be just as good at the position as Quirrell, Lockhart, Barty Crouch, Jr. (as Moody), and Umbridge. While there are several fictional characters that could be added to this list, here are my top ten and what they would offer as a professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

1. Dwight Schrute (The Office) would teach students hand-to-hand combat and how to best outwit their enemies by knowing useless facts.

2. President Snow (The Hunger Games) would spend the class time showing them how to use magic to dramatically torture children while being oddly infatuated with a brunette with no filter.

3. Klaus Mikaelson (The Originals) would spend the time lecturing on betrayal and the joy of feeling someone’s spine snap.

4. Peter Hale (Teen Wolf) would teach them how to survive by playing double agent while also teaching them the practicality of a deep-v tee.

5. Saruman (The Lord of the Rings) would make Snape jealous of his dramatic stamina and teach the kids how to project their voices.

6. Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) would teach the importance of charm and flirtation while also coaching them through all of his workouts.

7. Loki (Thor) would teach the students how to get themselves out of sticky situations and how to sarcastically insult others.

8. The Joker (Batman) would show the kids all of Batsy’s flaws and would constantly freak them out with dramatic laughter.

9. Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation) would teach them how to defend themselves against hard workers.

10. Gandalf the Grey (The Lord of the Rings) would spend the entire term convincing the students he is not Dumbledore and is not in any way related.


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Karmen Allison

Writing about the wizarding world has always been a dream and passion of mine. I definitely feel as though Harry Potter has shaped the person I am and has influenced me in so many ways. You will always find me with a book in my hand, sipping tea, and contemplating my next story to tell.