15 Conversations That the Marauders Probably Had

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew left a most brilliant legacy at Hogwarts – so brilliant that McGonagall still grimaces whenever someone reminds her of the pure chaotic havoc they wreaked.

In their era, most of the student body was in awe of the pranks they pulled, the professors were fuming (but secretly amused), Peeves was proud, and Filch was… well, the poor man definitely needed a raise. Speaking of their pranks… Since they were the talk of the town – including ghosts and a poltergeist, probably – their conversations must’ve been interesting too, right?

Without further ado, we present 15 conversations that the Marauders probably had. 

1. How to stop James from face-planting in front of Lily for the 18th time

2. How to stop Sirius from making the whole “Are you serious?” “But I’m Sirius” pun

3. Can they give Mrs. Norris a good kick without Filch murdering the lot of them?

4. How does Professor Binns just not care about anything at all?

5. How does Peter still have trouble with the questions about the werewolves in their OWLs when Remus literally is one?

6. How does Sirius not realize that they dragged an actual stag instead of James into the dorms after sneaking out for the 27th time?

7. How can they convince Peeves to be their mischief-making general?

8. How does James manage to keep making a fool of himself in front of Lily?

9. What they could buy the next time they go for a trip to Hogsmeade (ahem, at Zonko’s and Honeydukes)

10. Why doesn’t Peter constantly look for cheese when he loves it so much?

11. …because of course, that’s why his Animagus is a rat, right –

12. Quidditch strategies that mostly consist of how James and Sirius can show off

13. “Would Lily like it if I hired a four-string quartet for the proposal?” “Ye-” “NO”

14. How to best distract McGonagall so they get away before she gives them detention

15. Who’s more annoying when drunk with firewhisky: James, Sirius, or the surprise contender, Remus?


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Princess Jhode Datu

I'm both your typical nocturnal Slytherin who sometimes has a Ravenclaw identity crisis and a theater kid who loves literature and the performing arts. And, yes. I can be petty and dramatic :D