How to Be a Quidditch Player
Quidditch is the wizarding world’s go-to sport, and it’s easy to see why. With the excitement, the daring moves, and the fast pace, Quidditch is a sport that is loved in the wizarding world and Muggle world alike. But what does it take to be a Quidditch player? We’ve made a list of everything a Quidditch player needs – from skills and abilities to the things you need to put up with. After all, being a Quidditch player is no stroll in the park. This isn’t lawn bowls.
1. Memorize the rules. You’ll need a photographic memory to remember the 700 fouls that you should avoid committing in Quidditch.
2. Have excellent reflexes. It goes without saying, but good reflexes may be the difference between a broken nose and a near miss to brag about.
3. Be willing to deal with the possibility of injury, death, or worse… expulsion. Speaking of broken noses… this is very much a contact sport.
4. Be ready for the fans. They can be great, but they can be cruel, and you need to be able to put up with them.
5. Have sass, high levels of sass. Ginny Weasley. Enough said.
6. Have some chapstick on hand. It gets windy out there.
7. Have some dumb luck up your sleeve. It never hurts to have a bit of luck on your side. The natural, not-illegal kind, that is.
8. Be ready for this game to take over your life. All your conversations are going to revolve around it, all your friends will be obsessed with it, and all your Christmas presents are guaranteed to have Snitches on them.
9. Be ready for people to try to curse you out of the sky. It helps to have a couple of wizards on “falling out of the sky” duty.
10. Bring on the suncream. Skin safety first, people.
11. Know your comfort spells. There’s a basic list required – rain-repellent spells, anti-fogging charms for glasses, cushioning charms… you get the drift.
12. Have a high level of competitiveness. It goes hand in hand with the sass.
13. Self-confidence is a must. And if you don’t have it, well… that’s where the dumb luck comes in.
14. Be a strategist. This is more than just a game of physical skill.
15. Be friends with your Beaters. A Quidditch team is tight, but it helps to have a particularly close relationship with your Beaters. They’re the ones who’ve got your back, after all.
16. Have an airtight after-care routine. We’re talking ice packs, magnesium baths, and maybe a favorite yoga routine.
17. Make sure you don’t have any hidden fears of heights. You want to think about this long and hard before you even go near a broom.
18. Have a quick explanation ready at all times for any newcomers who don’t understand the concept of Quidditch. It needs to be Muggle-born friendly too.
19. Be ready to be in it for the long haul. There’s no telling when a Quidditch game will end. Seriously, one game was known to go on for three months.
20. Be ready for the unexpected… at all times. Rogue Bludgers, wild weather, Dementors – there’s no telling what will happen!
So if you’ve made it to the end of this list without running in terror… congratulations! You’re ready to be a Quidditch player. And if not, don’t worry – being in the crowd can be just as fun, and only mildly dangerous.