Slughorn’s Favorite Answers to the Question “What Would You Do with Felix Felicis?”
Hello there, dear reader. I, Horace Slughorn, have some interesting thoughts to share with you. Throughout all my time teaching and speaking to various students, I have kept a log of some fascinating subjects that have been brought up. Over the years, I’ve asked some of my students, members of the Slug Club, and those I’ve passed in the corridors what they would do with Felix Felicis. Here are some of the most memorable answers:
“Oh, fascinating question, sir. I don’t suppose you have any Felix Felicis on you? No? Well, you know I’m always trying to advance my studies. Maybe I’ll take a stab at Dark Magic, purely for academic purposes, of course. Tell me, sir, have you heard of Horcruxes?”
Dark Magic is banned for a reason. One mustn’t mess with that stuff. I’m glad this is purely for academic purposes but have you checked the Restriction Section of the library? Perhaps a bit of light reading may do the trick.
“Perhaps it would be useful in creating new spells to use against your enemies.”
Well, that sounds a little dangerous. You wouldn’t want to actually hurt anyone, now would you?
“Well, I’ve got, erm, plans coming up, with my mates soon. I think it may be helpful to have some luck with this, um, performance.”
Performance, ha! I very well know you and young Mr. Sirius Black are up to one of your pranks. Well, whatever… task…is coming up I recommend you try a calming drought; it’ll help calm the nerves.
“What would I do? Oh, sir, that’s easy. I’d be applying for a Quidditch position on a professional team.”
Quidditch positions are given to those who deserve them, and taking such a potion beforehand is just like cheating. If you train hard, then you can earn the spot. That’s just like taking Felix before a job interview… no you shouldn’t go doing that either.
“Well, I’m sure we all know how frustrating it is to shop for something, and you can never find it. So maybe I could take some and find those cursed- I mean, rare items to help me out with whatever tasks I might need to do.”
You can always request certain items be held for you. If you want rarer artifacts, you can always try some of the back-alley stores in Diagon Alley, or I suppose cursed items could be found somewhere in Knockturn Alley, like Borgin and Burkes, for example. This is all hypothetical, right?
“Well, I suppose I would wander down to the shops and begin debating price reductions. Or maybe I’ll only happen to shop during a huge sale.”
Pricing helps support the business of the creator. Forcing a lower price is really just one step up from stealing.
“I’d use it to study the right content that just so happens to be on the exam.”
The point of an exam is to test your knowledge.
“Well, I know I’d definitely use it to ask out a boy. He’s so funny and amazing, and have you seen him on the Quidditch field lately? Oh, I just know we’ll have such a romantic date.”
That sounds… rather concerning. If you like someone, it’s best to just be upfront and talk to them. One should always gain consent before doing anything.
“Erm, asking for an extension on assignments?”
If a teacher has told you that there is a deadline, no exceptions, then that means you must turn in your work or face the consequences. And no, Wallenby, I will not be granting you an extension on your paper.
Before I move on to my next interview, I think it may be worth noting that, well, in general, using Felix to steal things is wrong. Perhaps more specifically, stealing memories is wrong. You know, just to close any loopholes, I should say, “convincing others to release memories that are personal, private, and/or confidential” is wrong. I mean, it is an absolute violation of privacy. Ask for the memories nicely and if they happen to say no, then leave it at that.
“‘Stealing memories…’ Interesting you say that, sir. Well, maybe if I had the potion, I’d just pop on down to the Herbology Greenhouses and snag some Venomous Tentactula leaves….”
Harry, you’re not supposed to be looking at my notes while I’m writing down your answers. I mean, yes, stealing is wrong. But if one were to happen across a plant that needed… pruning, then wouldn’t you really be doing Professor Sprout a favor by… helping out? Moving on. Say something else, Harry.
“In all seriousness, though, I guess I’d, erm, I dunno, kill Voldemort?”
I’m not sure how to respond to this one… but killing is always bad, so, no, Harry. Just no. But, um, thanks for the more serious response.
In conclusion, I think I ought to write to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to update the Felix Felicis restrictions to include murder, harm to others, nonconsensual interactions with others, and contraband.