Sorting Taylor Swift Albums into Hogwarts Houses
Are you a Taylor Swift fan as well as a Harry Potter enthusiast? If so, we would gamble 1,000 Galleons that you have inevitably Sorted Ms. Swift’s discography into Hogwarts Houses at one time or another. Based on the title of this article, you will note that we are not above the aforementioned assumption, for we too have thought this through. Following hours upon hours of research, which consisted of tirelessly listening to Taylor Swift music, we believe that these Sortings are perfectly accurate — so much so that the Sorting Hat would have no choice but to agree with us. We challenge you to read through the list below and detect any faults in our decisions!
Taylor Swift (Debut) – Hufflepuff
Taylor Swift’s debut record is most certainly a Hufflepuff, for it documents childhood innocence, as exemplified by the lyrics of “Perfectly Good Heart.” While it is never explicitly stated within the books that purity is a virtue of the House, Hufflepuffs are known to be loyal and kind, thus leading many of them to wrongfully presume that everyone is as considerate as they are. Therefore, Taylor Swift, which focuses on the musician’s first experiences of betrayal and heartbreak, would be Sorted into the House of the badger.
Fearless – Ravenclaw
Though some have deduced that Fearless is a Gryffindor simply due to its title, certain characters, such as Sirius Black, have proven that the Sorting process accounts for more than just a person’s name. As demonstrated by the verse from “White Horse,” Fearless was written from the perspective of someone who has experienced life in all its glory as well as its misery. Accordingly, the narrator has learned from their mistakes and will not allow themself to be proven wrong again; because of this, the album would surely be a Ravenclaw.
Speak Now – Slytherin
With lyrics similar to the ones from “Better Than Revenge,” Speak Now is undoubtedly a Slytherin. Composed of songs describing the anger that accompanies betrayal — as well as how vindictive that anger can cause one to become — we can think of no place that would better suit Speak Now than Salazar Slytherin’s own House.
Red – Gryffindor
Red is an album focused on strength, the particular type of strength that is required to move past experiences of the most difficult kind. As exemplified by the record’s eponymous song, heartache is no easy task to overcome; when one has been wronged by the person they love most, it can feel as though the world is no longer spinning on its axis. Though it would then be quite simple to wallow in grief, resilience and courage are necessary to move past such treachery. Ergo, Red would fit in nicely alongside the rest of Gryffindor House.
1989 – Gryffindor
While 1989 may appear to be a fun, upbeat album with its synth beats and pop sound, a closer inspection of its lyrics, such as the ones from “Welcome to New York,” accurately depict adulthood and the changes it brings about. Though some are scared off by the prospect of being thrust into the unknown of the real world, a select few, including the members of Gryffindor House, openly accept the challenge. Subsequently, 1989 would be Sorted into the House of scarlet and gold.
Reputation – Hufflepuff
Though Reputation has the aesthetic of a Slytherin, as the era is remembered for its muted color palette and Swift’s edgy style, at its core, it is a record about love. While songs like “Call It What You Want” may mention the hate that has plagued Taylor Swift’s career, at a deeper level, it speaks to the strength of her companionship with Joe Alwyn and how it has prevented her from allowing the negativity of others to affect her self-image. Therefore, Reputation is a Hufflepuff.
Lover – Ravenclaw
As this album is a social commentary, as demonstrated by the lyrics of “The Man,” Lover is undoubtedly a Ravenclaw. Identifying patterns and problems is second nature to students of the eagle House, who dissect all that they observe. Consequently, Lover would make a wonderful addition to their dinnertime discussions.
Folklore – Ravenclaw
As discussed with Lover, Ravenclaws are observant individuals. In turn, Folklore would be Sorted into the formerly mentioned House as well, for as exemplified by the lyrics of “this is me trying,” it is a record composed of self-reflective pieces. Many of the songs focus on past experiences and how they can shape who you become as a person; it is exactly the type of album that would be welcomed as a member of Ravenclaw House.
Evermore – Slytherin
Evermore is a record of lust-filled songs, demonstrated by the lyrics of “willow.” Though blind infatuation may not always be wise, such passion can not be ignored. Emotions can be overwhelming, and Slytherins know that best, as they are deeply in touch with their feelings. Subsequently, Evermore would be Sorted into the House of green and silver.
What do you think? Did we properly Sort Taylor Swift’s records? (That is a rhetorical question; obviously, we did.)