An Honest Listing for DADA Professor in The Daily Prophet

Do you desire to have your face melted off? Or do you wish to be cursed to insanity and lunacy? Then, Hogwarts is the finest place for you to be! Not only you will be drowning in galleons as the professor of Defense Against The Dark Arts but you will also have a housing facility in the staff quarters next to the (not so) lovely and delightful Severus Snape, who actually desires to teach DADA, but potions are his calling according to Dumbledore.

Rumor has it that the dragon skeleton in the DADA classroom was alive and lively at once but has decayed and withered in the hope of a stable DADA professor.

You may not be skilful in Dark Arts but you must be conspiring with He Who Must Be Named. If you are not meddling with He Who Must Not Be Named, you must strictly add to the climax of Harry Potter’s end-of-year at the school. You will love this job if you like adventures (deadly encounters) and adrenaline (panic).

Experience in teaching? What is that? The only experience you require for teaching Dark Arts at Hogwarts is to inhale and exhale so we have someone authoritative in the class.

You will achieve high value and experience (in crying) while teaching at our prestigious (and the only) school in the United Kingdom. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has always been called the safest place by the people and the point to consider here is that these people have never been to Hogwarts. At Hogwarts, we aspire to have a Dark Arts Professor who is hard-working and loyal (to The Dark Lord). There may be voodoo and hoodoo in the job position but you have to doo-doo the job for one year and then shoo-shoo out of the castle (or your life).

Are you still reading the advertisement? It must mean that you are interested in the eternal damnation of yourself! Fulfill your hopes (and of your Dark Lord’s as well)! You can send an owl to the address listed below with your details (your name, because that is what it only takes).

To: Mr. Several Surname Dumbledore
The Antique Objects Office
Third Floor
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Harry Potter’s School)

The doomed ones will receive a letter for their interview (you already have the job if you get an interview).

Note: Inclination to those candidates who are either werewolves or Voldemort himself in disguise.


My mind is like a box of candies from honeydukes, a colorful combination of different tastes. Writing about Harry Potter is a ticket to platform nine and three quarters for any Harry Potter fan. I wish to write about each alley and every wand of this universe.