Draco as a Ferret and Other Hilarious Magical Moments
Today is National Ferret Day, and what better way to celebrate than to look back on all the ridiculous moments we shared with Draco Malfoy? For a stubborn, cranky bully, Draco had moments that made readers laugh. Instead of making a terrifying entrance, more often than not, Draco enters a room with a silly, nonthreatening remark. Draco might think he’s big and bad, but the truth is, his pompous ways are nothing more than laughable.
1. “I didn’t know you could read.”
In the film version of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Tom Felton says this line to much comedic effect. Felton portrays Draco, who has just come across Crabbe and Goyle. Draco is actually swaggering down the hall and then somehow makes an insult to his friends seem absolutely hysterical. Harry, who is masquerading as Goyle at the time, forgot to take off his glasses. Draco inquires as to why Goyle is wearing glasses, and the resulting conversation gives us one of Draco’s funniest lines in all the films. The combination of the masquerade, Draco’s temper, and Draco’s childish comment makes this scene unforgettable.
2. “My father will hear about this!”
Next, we have another outstanding performance by Felton. His portrayal of Draco gave the character his most well-known line. Numerous times in the Harry Potter movies, Draco shouts, “My father will hear about this!” This quote is funny for so many reasons, one of them being that just when you think Draco is done speaking, he shouts out this line. The quote becomes less spontaneous as the movies progress, but it never fails to generate laughs. Instead of this line having the threatening effect Draco wants it to have, the quote makes Draco seem spoiled and insecure. This line has become synonymous with Draco, and it’s difficult for Potterheads to imagine Draco without it.
3. “‘The forest?’ [Malfoy] repeated, and he didn’t sound quite as cool as usual. ‘We can’t go in there at night – there’s all sorts of things in there – werewolves, I heard.'” (SS, ch. 15)
After Draco succeeds in landing the golden trio in detention, it was a welcome relief to see him scared out of his wits in the Forbidden Forest. This moment in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was one of the first times we see Draco out of his element. He spent most of the first book acting cocky and proud, but in detention, he’s freaking out. On the page, Draco’s fear is keenly felt by the reader, even more so when he comes across Voldemort in the woods. Somehow Draco’s fear is laughable. He makes pitiable attempts to be brave, and even when Draco is afraid, he acts annoying. So when Draco runs away from the hooded figure of Voldemort, his comical behavior makes the moment less terrifying.
4. “‘I’m dying!’ Malfoy yelled as the class panicked. ‘I’m dying, look at me! It’s killed me!’” (PoA, ch. 6)
Even a bitter thrashing by a hippogriff isn’t enough to intimidate Draco. In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Draco, in an effort to steal Harry’s spotlight, insults a hippogriff in class. However, Buckbeak doesn’t stand for this and attacks Draco. The injury is minimal, but Draco makes a big deal out of it. What makes this moment so humorous is that Draco deserved it. He picked a fight with a clever, no-nonsense hippogriff. Then, Draco’s shocked reaction and exclamations of pain are fake, so readers can’t help but laugh. Even after being attacked by Buckbeak, Draco is still acting absurd.
5. “Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?” (GoF, ch. 23)
Without a doubt, Malfoy being turned into a ferret is his most hilarious moment in the book series. The transformation came out of nowhere, it was inflicted by a professor of all people, and it was a just punishment. After lording over everyone for years, Draco gets what he deserves. Even though Draco gets turned back to normal soon afterward, J.K. Rowling’s language and wit in this moment are unforgettable. It was Draco’s most embarrassing moment, which makes the most enjoyable one for readers. Even more incredible is how the golden trio never forgets it. They talk about it several times afterward, and it becomes the ultimate punishment for their ridiculous tormentor.
Are we forgetting any other funny Draco moments? Tell us your favorites in the comments below!