BREAKING NEWS – WETS & IWC Come to Resolution over Bin It to Win It at 2020 Wizolympics

This is Amadeus Corvus-Pes Venator reporting to you from the Wizolympic offices here at the Tokyo Games with an update from the Wizards for the Ethical Treatment of Squibs (WETS) protests that have been happening throughout this year’s Wizolympics.

Squibs and WETS representatives just got out of a meeting with members of the International Wizolympic Committee (ICW) and representatives of various magical government officials over the Bin It to Win It boycott and more Squib participation in magical society.

The immediate result is that all the teams who participate will receive prize money based on the total amount of garbage they collect, one Galleon per pound. The IWC declared that since Squibs are used as a cleanup crew, they should be compensated for their labor. The medal winners will still be determined by the number of pieces of garbage collected. The IWC has also agreed to explore events that Squibs could participate in during the main events. Suggestions include ribbon dancing like a hippogriff, non-potent potion ingredient relay, and perhaps even an event where wizards and Squibs compete together in teams.

Russetta Tater came out of the meeting miffed that they had not discussed more rights and that all government bodies were completely absent at the meeting. The Squibs I talked to were overall hopeful, but wary, of the results. I caught up with Ann O’Nymous. She told me, “This is progress. But we were not promised anything besides proper protective gear and getting paid for the Squib event. The rest is just words and could become empty progress. I’ll believe they mean what they say when I see change for myself.”

Commissioner Adelaide Berger hopes this meeting will serve as a call to action for wizarding communities across the globe to include Squibs in more conversations about their role in magical society. In a Daily Prophet-exclusive interview, Berger commented, “We are glad that the Wizolympic could come to a peaceful resolution that left all the parties feeling heard. We hope that the rest of the wizarding world’s government agencies are inspired by our actions to take their own measures.”

The Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards was unavailable for comment because this morning, he was sent to quarantine after his secretary began to detect the song “Sweet Home Alabama” in his flatulence.

Rumors are circulating that Canada has offered Moira Mae Macmillan a path to Canadian citizenship and a spot for her convenience store in Alberta’s Magical Mountain Alley near Waterton Lakes National Park. Macmillan was unavailable to comment since she was busy running away from the meeting singing about a moose who liked to drink juice, which is supposedly is a popular Muggle camp song.

 

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