Fantastic Beasts and How We Rate Them
There are many fantastic beasts in the wizarding world, and we at the Quibbler love to have discussions about which beasts we think are the best. One of our newest writers is a beasts expert and recently asked our readers to submit their own beasts for us to rate. Here are just a few of the submissions that we received.
Editor’s note: These ratings are personal opinions and do not reflect the opinion of the Quibbler.
This beast was sent to us by Tom Riddle, better known as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Normally, the Quibbler doesn’t support the Dark Lord, but in the interest of self-preservation, we decided this beast had to be included. Known mainly for Petrifying multiple students and even killing one during two separate reigns of terror at Hogwarts, the Basilisk is one beast you wouldn’t want as a pet. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to find out much more about this oversized serpent as the intern we sent to investigate managed to get themselves Petrified whilst taking a photo and is still recovering at St. Mungo’s.
Rating: -2/10 – Only good as a pet for those who can speak Parseltongue.
Buckbeak the Hippogriff
Submitted to us by Rubeus Hagrid, both the gamekeeper and the Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, Buckbeak is a hippogriff and was one of the first beasts Hagrid taught in his class. Hippogriffs are proud majestic beasts, and looking at Buckbeak, it’s easy to see why Hagrid loves him. However, anybody who took a class with Hagrid knows how dangerous they can be, and this class with Buckbeak was no different – it didn’t take long for something to go wrong. Thankfully though, only one injury occurred during this particular class after the student in question, Draco Malfoy, insulted this proud beast. Thankfully, no serious injury occurred to Malfoy as he made a full recovery, and though Buckbeak was sentenced to death, he vanished in mysterious circumstances and is hopefully happy wherever he is.
Rating: 12/10 – Good for helping your wrongly convicted godfather escape the Dementor’s Kiss.
Pesto the Niffler
This one was sent to us by everyone’s favorite Magizoologist, Newt Scamander, and looking at it, who can say they don’t love Nifflers? Look at how cute they are. Though Scamander’s textbook Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them tries to argue that Nifflers are pests, we beg to differ. Who wouldn’t want a Niffler as a pet? They’re cute, they would make the perfect accomplice should you ever want to rob a bank or stop a Dark wizard, and they are great matchmakers – just look at how Newt met his wife, Tina. Sure, they might try and steal the family silverware, but in the grand scheme of things, this is only a small drawback. Truly, Nifflers are the best beast.
Rating: 15/10 – Would make the best friend and partner in crime.
Flint the Blast-Ended Skrewt
These creatures were submitted anonymously, but our resources report this might be another submission from Hagrid as he did teach about these creatures. As previously mentioned, his classes tend to be extremely dangerous, and these classes with the Skrewts were potentially the most dangerous. Anyone who took care of these beasts in Care of Magical Creatures probably still has the burns, and at the Quibbler, none of us can think of anything positive about these creatures. They’re extremely aggressive, they tend to explode, and there is absolutely no purpose to them at all.
Rating: -100/10 – I never want to see one of these things again.
Fawkes the Phoenix
Sent in by none other than Albus Dumbledore himself, Fawkes is probably the most magnificent – and only – phoenix we have ever seen. Fawkes, like other phoenixes, has some truly magical powers, from being able to carry great loads to having healing tears, something that was helpful to none other than Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets. Without Fawkes, Harry would have died in the Chamber after being poisoned by Basilisk venom, and for Fawkes’s help, we are forever thankful.
Rating: 13/10 – Perfect for helping you escape Hogwarts under a strict Ministry regime.
Denny the Dementor
This creature was submitted to us by none other than the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, Dolores Umbridge, and to put it bluntly, Dementors are horrible. They bring nothing but cold and darkness and make us all relive nothing but our worst memories. However, as many of us learned from Remus Lupin, potentially one of the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers that Hogwarts ever had, chocolate is one of the best ways to recover after an encounter with a Dementor. You can never go wrong with some chocolate, so maybe an encounter isn’t all bad?
Rating: 2/10 – Would not want to get caught under the mistletoe with one.
Witherwings the Hippogriff
Another Hippogriff entry from Hagrid – he does love his hippogriffs, doesn’t he? And Witherwings is just as beautiful as Buckbeak is… Wait a moment. This is the same hippogriff, isn’t it?
Rating: 11/10 – The perfect companion should you need defending from Death Eaters.
Do you have a fantastic beast? Send us an owl – we would love to see them.