Welcome to the Potterdom

to the tune of “Welcome to the Internet” from Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) 

It’s been a little over a year since Bo Burnham released his masterpiece comedy special, Bo Burnham: Inside, on Netflix. Putting aside his unparalleled social commentary about the state of the world during the COVID-19 pandemic, his original songs continue to play in our heads nonstop. To celebrate the success of Bo Burnham: Inside (including three Emmy awards!) and pay our humble tribute to the recent release of INSIDE: Deluxe, we are adding a third song parody to our collection. Here is our reimagined version of “Welcome to the Internet,” created by Harry Potter fans, for Harry Potter fans. 

 

 

Welcome to the Potterdom
You’re a Potterhead
You finished all the books
Your favorite characters are dead
There are thousands of fanfics
Some better, some worse
There’s so much fan-made content out there
Dive in headfirst

Welcome to the Potterdom
What’s your Hogwarts House?
Your Patronus is a tiger or a salmon or a mouse
There’s no need to settle, just take ten more tests
And you can just accept the one you like best

Welcome to the Potterdom
What do we have here?
Would you like to buy a wand or maybe try some butterbeer?
Write essays
Get crafty
Perform on the stage
We got a million different ways to engage

Welcome to the Potterdom
Here’s a funny meme
Watch a show with singing puppets
Join a Muggle Quidditch team
We’ve got cosplay, and LEGO, conventions galore
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
Of all the different characters in Harry Potter snogging each other

Welcome to the Potterdom
Here’s a shipping war
Would you like to hear a spoiler, like that Snape kills Dumbledore?
I’m so sorry that I said that
Hey, Dobby’s dead, too
Don’t act surprised, these books are hardly brand new

Laugh at “My Immortal”
Agree Umbridge is the worst
Know that Hufflepuffs are finders
Mourn October 31st
Read a rumor, buy a broom
Or have a cry for “The White Tomb”
Or laugh at Fred and George’s humor
Join in SPEW or try to brew a little—

Have a fight about Cursed Child
Or Fantastic Beasts
Do your best to avoid reading
Anything the author tweets.
Which Marauder are you?
Take this quirky quiz
Emma Watson’s hair needed to have so much more frizz

Could I interest you in mania
All of the time
A little Pottermania
All of the time
Cedric is a tragedy
Dramione’s a crime
Wild Pottermania
All of the time

Could I interest you in mania
All of the time
A little Pottermania
All of the time
Hedwig is a tragedy
And Drarry is a crime
Wild Pottermania
All of the time

You know, it wasn’t always like this…

Not very long ago
Back in ‘07
Even up to movie 8, circa ‘11
It was fan theories
One book series
A forum or two
We had Tumblr posts and podcast hosts
Hoping
For more, more, that’s all we asked for
We were lost when “All was well”
Until Pottermore
And it had all the details
But that was before
Now look at us, oh
Look at us, us, us
Fanatical, magical
We’re all grown up
No owl came
Our letter’s past due
But if we keep on reading
Who knows what we’ll do?
It’s the flaw in the plan
You just can’t stop the fans

Hahaha…

Could I interest you in mania
All of the time
A little Pottermania
All of the time
Lily is a tragedy
And Drapple is a crime
Wild Pottermania
All of the time

Could I interest you in mania
All of the time
A little Pottermania
All of the time
Lupin is a tragedy
But Wolfstar is sublime
Wild Pottermania
And Potterdom and mania
And Potterdom and mania
And all of the time

 

We hope you enjoyed “Welcome to the Potterdom” as much as we enjoyed putting it together. Check out more MuggleNet song parodies, and let us know what your favorite is on social media.

 

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Jennifer Fancher

Jenni joined the Creative Team in 2019. Outside of MuggleNet, she works at an education and technology non-profit. She is a Chicago-based Hufflepuff who, like Hermione, is "hoping to do some good in the world."