Professor Trelawney’s 2021 Hogwarts House Horoscopes
Hello, fellow magical folk. It is I, Professor Trelawney, here to share with you some of my predictions for the upcoming year. Now, as most of you know, I teach Divination at Hogwarts, and I have spent most of my life observing students as they come and go. One thing that I have noticed during my time at the school is that predicting a student’s future from their Hogwarts House can be more accurate than using their zodiac sign. Professor McGonagall has…encouraged me to take some time off this semester so that I can share my wisdom and foresight with the world.
Hello, dear Hufflepuffs. This year will truly be your year to shine. Your hard work and determination will really pay off about halfway through the year. Remember to keep going and offer support to anyone who needs it. Who needs third place when you can come in first? Be loyal to your friends, and magical things will happen. Avoid stuffed animals that look like Acromantulas. They are bad gifts and sometimes turn out to be real Acromantulas that are just pretending to be fake. Avoid petting spiders at all costs. Now is a good time to add a new pet to your life, especially if they can protect you from the spiders. I recommend a cat. A lizard or frog would be great too.
Oh, brave friends. Unfortunately, this year will not be your year. It belongs to the Hufflepuffs. Find yourself a Hufflepuff friend to share in some of the glory. Bravery is good, but will you truly be brave enough to take on your biggest challenge of the year, watching the new Muggle film, Jungle Cruise? Bring your Hufflepuff – they’ll love it. You may think that you are daring, but you’ll find that daring being challenged in the next month or so. Keep pushing forward, and you’ll make it through. Just remember to stop and ask for directions every once in a while.
So you spent all of last year with your head in a book? That’s great, but it’s time to look at the world around you. Learning from books is important, but this year, your wisdom will come from looking at your own experiences and the experiences of others. These will tell you how you must move forward. On December 25, someone will give you their heart, but the next day, you will, in fact, give it away in trade for a rare text. The information in that book could very well save your life, so I do recommend it, but be careful as dealing with hearts can get messy. Being logical is a good trait to have, but in 2021, you will find some whimsy in your life. Don’t be afraid or do – whatever feels best. Accept the whimsy and run with it.
The stars are aligning in your favor, and nothing will stop you from achieving your goals. Last year, you spent a lot of time plotting and scheming, and that is about to pay off. Be warned – there is some risky business ahead. You must be shrewd in all of your dealings, including those with friends and family. You have put yourself into a rather tight spot in one area of your life. There are things that must be done in order to get ahead, but once you do, you will rise to the top. Avoid taking your time committing to that special thing in your life. Some things just need to be accepted right away. Going outside on March 4 is to be avoided at all costs. I’d tell you why, but some things are best left unsaid.