Professor Trelawney Picks the Best Quidditch Position for You
Ever wondered what your Quidditch position would be? Probably not, as there have been countless quizzes and answers to this question online. All cover general skills across all positions, such as the ability to fly on a broomstick without falling off most of the time, mid-to-high level of fitness, and good coordination. However, have you ever tried to figure out your Quidditch position with the added bonus of having a real live Seer tapping into the mystic realms and giving insight into the very traits needed for each position? Professor Trelawney has joined The Quibbler today to use her unquestionable skills of Divination to define once and for all what Quidditch position you would play.
Full disclaimer: “The Quibbler” makes no promise that Professor Trelawney’s predictions are true, real, or all that good.
Famous Seekers: Harry Potter, Victor Krum, Lucy “Lucky” Karoonda, Ngapo Ponika, Glynnis Griffiths, Aidan Lynch
Do you have mongoose-like reflexes, sight better than a Deerhound, and a penchant for shiny gold things? Then Seeker might be the position for you. Harry Potter may make this role look easy (or not if you saw him in his first year), but playing Seeker is not for the faint-hearted. You are a target for the other team – especially when it’s crunch time and some pretty nasty injuries could come your way. On the plus side, though, you usually get most of the glory for winning the game!
Skills needed: Fast, excellent long-distance sight, good grip, light frame
Professor Trelawney’s traits recommendation: Name starts with A, G, J, L, B, Q, S, H, or Z; born with a birthmark on your left buttock, Scorpio or Leo; gluten allergy
Famous Chasers: Ginny Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Debbie Muntz
Are you fast and furious? Have the hand-eye coordination of John McEnroe and were really good at dodgeball as a kid? Then check out the position of Chaser. However, it’s not all about scoring goals; a good defense is just as important. Don’t think dirty tactics here – that’s not ok, but if you like annoying people, then this one could be for you. We call this tactic “being the Nose Bleed” you aren’t hurting anyone, but you get in the way, and it’s annoying.
Skills needed: Good aim, the ability to work in a team, rapid serving skills mid-air, excellent hand-eye coordination; quick decision-making, unafraid of mid-air collisions
Professor Trelawney’s traits recommendation: Nimble fingers, left foot bigger than right, last name is double-barreled, have Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia or Taurophobia
Famous Beaters: Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Joey Jenkins, Dawn Withey, Indira Choudry
Do you have large biceps and possibly an anger management problem? Then Beater could be your bread and butter. Getting to hit heavy round balls with big bats is amazingly cathartic, and being allowed to aim them at people on purpose? Well, what a rush! Be careful, though; you need to be able to take it just as well as you give it, and being hit in the head is an occupational hazard. If you haven’t got too many concussions under your belt already, then this position could be worth a nudge.
Skills needed: Upper body strength, good aim, solid grip, somewhat reckless free spirit
Professor Trelawney’s traits recommendation: Knows national anthem off by heart; has brown, black, red, pink, or blue hair; likes dogs, not cats; knows how to order a bacon and cheese sandwich in French
Famous Keepers: Oliver Wood, Jonny Nuhaka, Darren O’Hare, Sendelina de la Felino
The most underrated and yet most important position in Quidditch is the Keeper. Not all Keepers have to be large but fast reflexes would be key if you have a small frame and want to keep the other teams’ Quaffles out of your goals. Keepers are cool, calm, and collected and possess the ability to diagnose which hoop the Chasers are going to hit. If you have Seer blood, then this could be an easy position for you to explore.
Skills needed: Unparalleled reflexes, patience, willingness to throw own body in the way of a moving object
Professor Trelawney’s traits recommendation: Isn’t named Cormac
Famous Referees: Rolanda Hooch, Hassan Mostafa, Nugent Potts
Let’s not forget this very important role. If actually playing the game isn’t your thing, you could train for your Quidditch refs license. You have to have a solid knowledge of the game, be equally quick and speedy as a Chaser, and be all-seeing. In the big leagues, there will be more than one ref umpiring the game to back you up but in small matches – be prepared to make some enemies. Quidditch ref is a great role for those who don’t want to make friends and who like to call the shots.
Skills needed: Excellent Quidditch knowledge, quick decision-making, unafraid of conflict
Professor Trelawney’s traits recommendation: Like flags, have had either a broken bone or a sprained wrist and/or ankle, took dance lessons as a child (preferably ballet)
So which position is best for you? Do you agree with Professor Trelawney’s predictions? If you want to start practicing, get a broomstick, some balls, and a hoop, and go ahead.